I'm going to be published...

Not really, but that sounds nice, huh?

I ended up doing the article for the magazine. I really felt compelled to discuss what my experience has been like and they told me they could give me anonymity, which was nice.

Basically, the magazine is only for NJ doctors and the article is geared toward encouraging doctors who have patients who were banded elsewhere to use the place I go to in NJ. Me being one of those people who was banded elsewhere, they felt I would be a good resource for the article.

The interviewer asked me if I would be willing to speak to her daughter. She's one month out of surgery and is around my age and is having a hard time finding bandsters around her age. This surprised me. Many of you are within 5 years of me! However, I have noticed that support groups are generally older people. And that's no fun when you really want to get a younger person's perspective on how to deal with this life-changing decision.

On the personal band front, it's amazing what .6ccs will do to you. When I had .6cc more in my band the day before Thanksgiving, eating was very difficult and I ate many slider foods. Now having .6 cc taken out, I can eat just about anything (not that I should). When I go home to ATL, I'm going to have .1 or .2 put back in just to give me a bit of restriction. I mean, geez, I even ate sticky rice last night and that's no good!

Has it seriously been 3 weeks??

I'm so sorry. I keep thinking of things I want to write but don't because I'm at a client.

However, I'm doing it anyway today.

Something happened several weeks ago that made me realize I need help. It was an anger issue and it made me realize just how out of control I can be. Don't worry, I didn't hit anyone or anything like that, but the feeling inside me was so horrible and I knew it wasn't right.

So, I started seeing a therapist. I've only seen her twice, but she specializes in patients who have eating disorders and those who've had or are planning to have some sort of weight loss surgery.

So far, so good. I wish I would have done this sooner and I can't really describe how nice it is just to TALK to someone and they be supportive. She is candid, uses foul language, and is really helpful. She helps me with my anger and helps me to embrace it and use it in a positive way. I'm really excited to see where this goes.

She recommended a book for me, Shrink Yourself. It focuses on emotional eating. I'm looking forward to getting it and working through it.

Another development today: the floroscopy place called today and ask if I would be willing to b e interviewed for a NJ publication about them and their services. I'm more than happy to do it, but ONLY if my name is nowhere near it. :)

Anyway, Christmas shopping & wrapping is done. I'm leaving to drive to ATL on the 24th and will be there until the 2nd with a slight detour to our beach house. Can't wait!

One Year Post Follow Up

I realize that last post was a little discouraging regarding the band. However, I feel like it is important to document my journey. My story goes to show you that it's not all rainbows & flowers. This is not a smooth road for every patient.

I went to my first support group last night. There weren't any in Atlanta and since I've been in NJ, I've been out of town for each meeting. Well, I made it last night. The actual group was a little pathetic. There were three of us there: a 60 year old man one month out, a bypass patient 6 months out, me, a dietician, and the guy who runs the floro. I told my story and mentioned the pain I experience when eating. The obvious follow up question is why don't I get it checked out? Well, in order to get it checked out up here in NJ (remember, I'm self pay), I have to pay the surgeon $400 and go across the hall to the adjustment center and pay them $200 for the floro and the surgeon tell me what he thinks. I don't have $600 lying around just asking to be spent.

So, the floro guy came to me and offered to do a free floro that night just to get an idea of what was going on. How cool is that? Obviously it was very hush hush. I couldn't tell anyone we did it. So, after the meeting, we went down and he did it. It wasn't good. Now, I understand he's not a bariatric surgeon, but he does run the floro several times a day and knows what the images should look like. I was tight. Super tight. You know how you can see your underwire from your bra when you get a floro? Well, the barium stream going through my band was about 1/3 of the width of my underwire. He was also concerned about the placement and thought there might be a possibility of slippage. He pretty much said I needed to get an emergency unfill asap and that an unfill could not wait until I went home to ATL for Christmas.

It concerned me. I didn't lose sleep over it because I knew I couldn't do anything about it until this morning, but I was def. worried. I don't really have the money to get this done. So, this morning the floro guy called me and said he spoke to one of the surgeons and he'd see me at 12:30 if I wanted. The floro guy also said he would work with me on the money situation and we could set up a payment plan. How awesome is that?!?!

So, I went in and this is probably the top bariatric surgeon in NJ. We did the floro and he said I def. was over restricted but that the band had perfect placement. In terms of restriction, I just get so frustrated because I feel like I'm either over or under restricted. I have no idea what a sweet spot is!! He said I may never get to a sweet spot, but should strive for a spot I can live with. This made me feel better. Anyway, fluid came out and I'm feeling better.

I'm also going to start tracking my weight via spreadsheet. I think this might be a useful tool. I'm treating today as a new start. I should be at optimum restriction and will strive to stop eating my slider foods and eat those that will satisfy me and will continue to help me drop the weight...but at a healthy pace :)

One Year Bandiversary

I'm two days late. I have a good excuse...I have come down with the plague. I've been absolutely miserable, but I'm starting to come out of it.

So! Onto the show!

Saturday was my one year bandiversary.

Looking back, this process has not been what I had expected. It's been MUCH more difficult. If I could go back knowing what I know now would I still have the surgery? YES, but with a few tweeks.

My story in a nutshell:
In summary: Girl is self-pay, girl gets banded, girl gets fill, girl gets another fill, girl finds out job is transferring her 1000 miles away, girl gets another fill, girl moves, girl is stressed and sad, girl can't eat, girl pays $1200 for an unfill, girl can eat, girl STUPIDLY decides to get a $600 fill, girl can't even drink water, girl gets $400 unfill, girl flies back to surgeon to get EVERYTHING taken out, girl gains almost 30 lb, girl gets small fill, girl gets another fill, girl starts slowly losing again.

A Year Ago I...
I would have thought that on my one year bandiversary I would be at or very close to goal. I would have thought I would have had no problems with my band. And I would have thought I'd still be in Atlanta.

Reality
Oh how different reality is. Before my pre-op I was at 264. On Saturday I weighed in at 215. That's a loss of 49 lb in one year. I'm happy because that's 49 lb. that I probably could not have lost on my own OR if I did lose the weight, it's 49 lb for me to regain. The disappointing part in all of this is that on July 1 of this year I was down 69 lb. To tell you the truth, I'd be much happier writing this year-in-review post if I were down 69 lb. However, I'm not. I've lost 49 lb and I pretty much have 49 lb to go. So, I'm halfway there.

Things I wish I would have known before getting surgery:
-not everyone is the same. Someone with the same number of cc's in their band might be much tighter or much looser than you. Someone's green zone (sweet spot) might be different than yours. Some people may be able to eat things you can't.
-Blogs are great reference tools, but are not the bible. Similar to above, this is YOUR personal journey, you will not have the same experiences as a fellow blogger / bandster. A bandster might be able to eat eggs, rice, and toast, but you may not (I certainly can't).
-it's expensive. I'll be paying for this sucker for another 4 years, not to mention my one year of free aftercare is up so now I have to pay for fills & unfills.
-it's mentally challenging. I have to look up menus online before I go out to eat to see if there are foods I can have. I get a little sad when people tell me what they are eating for a meal and I know I can't.
-everyone says it and it's true: the band is not a solution. you can still eat around it, you can even gain weight.

Happy things:
-blood sugar is normal (I was pre-diabetic prior to surgery).
-triglycerides are now normal. Prior to surgery, they were so high that they couldn't even be measured.
-I have energy. Prior to surgery I was so sleepy all the time, took naps any chance I got, and was really unmotivated to do anything. Now, I can't take a nap even if I wanted to. My body will not let me.
-I look better. Not as good as I looked in July, but that's beside the point.
-I can wear normal clothes. Prior to surgery I was a 18/20 in pants and an XL (maybe bigger, but I wouldn't buy anything larger than XL). Now I'm a 14/16 in pants and a solid L.

Sad things:
-my mental state is not where it needs to be. No, I'm not saying I'm going off the rails of the crazy train or anything. I'm saying I still think like I'm fat. I still think about my next meal before I'm done with my current one. I still think about how much I would LOVE to scarf down a mushroom pizza with extra cheese.
-my eating habits are not wonderful. I still avoid vegetables at all costs. It's almost the same case with fruits.
-Eating is not a pleasurable experience for me. Generally speaking, it hurts to eat anything solid. It feels like a brick is on my chest until the food passes through my band. Yes, I'm chewing well. Yes, I'm taking small bites. No, I don't PB. This is what eating is for me and because it hurts to do it, I try to avoid foods that cause this feeling. Hence, I eat slider foods.
-I don't like that I have this part of me hidden. Aside from 3 friends and a handful of family members, no one knows that I've had this surgery. So, when I sit down for a meal with friends or co-workers, my eating looks kind of suspicious. I've told everyone how much I hate sandwiches when really, all I want to do is scarf down a 6" po' boy! However, I have to suck it up and get over it b/c I'll never be able to do that again.
-Beer = OUT. No more beer. Ever. It hurts to drink it. Therefore, my bar tabs are significantly higher than my friends b/c I drink liquor.

Conclusion
Over all, I'm happy (although this post makes it sound like I'm not) and I'd go through all this again, I'd just think longer and harder about it next time. You have to be completely committed to this band for it to work. You must become one with the band and don't fight it.

i wasn't joking...

...when I named this blog "it's not a sprint, it's a marathon."

I heard that phrase at a lap-band seminar. You know, the one you have to go to for just about every surgeon? Well, I ended up not using that surgeon, but only because I was self-pay and really didn't want to shell out thousands more for someone who is a really great public speaker.

However! His words still ring true and follow me.

I'm a few days away from my one-year bandiversary so I'll save the long post for then, but I just wanted to say that I'm finally happy with where I'm at and how I'm progressing. Who knew it would take this long? I'm just glad I'm not falling into the "failure" category. It's a scary thought.

I'm down to 214, so I've pretty much lost 8 lb in 2.5 weeks. I attribute it to eating less (and staying satisfied after meals) and exercise! Who would have thought...that's the proper recipe for losing weight?!?! HA!

Like I said, I'll do the year-in-review in 9 days, but for now, just know that it's going well...finally.

Weekend Lessons...

This past weekend was an experience...to say the least.

I went to a pub crawl in Hoboken on Saturday. It was my first time in Hoboken and really wanted to go since I've been considering a move to there (I just want to be closer to NYC).

Had a wonderful time, drank drinks, raised money for boobies, and met some fun people. All in all I'd say I drank (liquor only) for about 7 hours...not good.

The next day, Sunday, I was supposed to meet my friends in the city for brunch then go to a Broadway show. Well, I woke up with a hangover from hell. I needed to puke, and bad. The only thing is, my band wouldn't let me! I would heave and lurch and nothing would come out. Has this happened to anyone else?

What happens to bandsters when we drink too much or get a stomach virus and need to throw up? If Sunday morning is any indication for me, if it passes through the band, it ain't coming back up no matter what.

Am I right?

And in case you were wondering, no, I didn't make brunch (seriously, food was the last thing I wanted), but I DID make the show and it was AMAZINGGGGGGGG!!!

Is this what progress is??

Sorry I haven't posted since going to ATL, but I really hate blogging from work and lately, that's all I've been doing!

I went to my surgeon back home to get a fill...my second since having almost everything removed. A new NP was in and once I told her the whole history of my band, she decided to see how much was actually in there. If every fill / unfill was done correctly in the past, she would have pulled out 4.9cc. She pulled out around 6! I ended up leaving the office with 6.25...I think.

I'm curious how I ended up with an extra cc! I think it was in there prior to my big unfill and that's one of the reasons I was so tight back in May / June and had to suck on ice chips just to stay hydrated!

Anyway, I'm liking this fill. I'm eating less and eating less often. Here's an example of my lunch yesterday:

Before I started eating (2 grapes are missing, I ate those before taking the picture):


And here is the after picture taken after I was full:


I ended up eating the raspberries about 3 hours later as a snack and drank 1/4 of a protein drink on my 2 hour drive home.

Exercise is still an issue. I did walk / run over 3 miles Monday night. It took me 45 minutes. I think that's pretty good for never running! I plan to do it again tonight. I motivate myself to do it because my poor dog is crated for 11 hours a day so I know she needs to get out and run or speed-walk in her case. I don't run fast enough to keep up with her so she trots while I try and run :)

I'm going to update my ticker this afternoon and show how much I've gained. It's not pretty. When I weighed in at my surgeon's I was up 31lb from end of June. Luckily, I've dropped about 4 of those in a week and a half.

Keep moving forward!

Big (fat) Failure!

OK, not really ;)

I didn't follow day 1 of the pouch test to a T. I tried, really I did, but just drinking protein drinks and other liquids is HARD when you are starving and have a mostly empty band. So, I ate solids, but ate mostly protein! I figured that was a good modification.

Woke up this morning and I'm down 1lb from yesterday. That could be because I'm watching what I'm eating or could just be natural fluctuations.

Weird thing going on with my body, though. I'm on the pill, but I take the kind where you only get your period 4x a year. I still have another month left on my pack before I get my period, but I started spotting last night and I feel very bloated and have cramps. I'm so frustrated. Why am I getting my period if I'm not supposed to get it for another month?!?! Sorry if that's TMI!

Day 1 = Fail!!

I failed today :( but I have a good excuse.

I had the opportunity to work from home today and went to lunch with a friend I never get to spend one on one time with. I've stuck pretty close to the all protein portion...it just hasn't been all liquid.

I'll just delay it one day and restart tomorrow!

I'll be sure to update on how it goes.

5 Dy Pouch Test

I'm starting the 5 day pouch test today. I think this is a good idea because I'm getting my fill in one week and really want to cut the current sugar / carb / fatty food cravings I've been having. I also need to re-teach myself how to eat properly using the band.

I think today and tomorrow will be the hardest since they are liquids only. I'll try and update each day with how it's going. Honestly, I just want to skip to Wednesday since I know today and tomorrow are going to be the worst.

My scale said 219.0 this morning so we'll see how I end up on Friday!

I swear I'm not dead...

I'm just super busy! I'm currently working about 2 hours away so I commute 4 hours a day, each day. This is supposed to continue through the end of the year. Can't say I'm super happy about that.

I have some pictures from this past weekend that I need to post. It was super fun. I'll do it later this week, I swear.

Less than two weeks until I fly back to ATL and get my second fill since getting my (mostly) complete unfill. Hopefully this next fill will bring some restriction b/c the scale is not lookin' pretty. I'm up about 25lb since July 1. Yikes!

I have always been honest in this blog and I plan to continue that...no hiding how much I've gained. My thought is that someone who is early in the banding process or is thinking about it might read my blog and see that it's not all roses all the time. Sometimes we struggle with the actual tool and regress a little bit, but (hopefully) we get it fixed and keep moving forward!!!!

Anyway, like I said, I'm not dead...just incredibly busy. I'll give a good update (with pictures!) soon.

You've failed me, fellow bloggers...

Why did no one tell me that Biggest Loser started last night?? I watched Glee, but on the commercial breaks and after Glee was over, I watched Biggest Loser. I'm excited about this season! The one I'm rooting for now is Allie. She had a vertical gastric band put in 8 years ago and it just goes to show you that surgery isn't always the solution to your problems. You can't just get a band and hope that all your problems are solved. You have to change your eating and exercise habits, too!

Anyway, I haven't been blogging much, or even reading many posts because 90% of you are going to Chicago this weekend and you are driving me nuts with your posts!!!! I adore you all and know you are so excited so feel free to keep posting, but I'm probably not reading it ;)

In exactly 30 days I'm going back to Atlanta and in 33 days I get my fillllllll! Oh happy day. This will be my last fill before my 1 year of after-care runs out. Then, I'm going to have to pay for all adjustments, but I think it's only $125 so I can swing that with how infrequently I go back to Atlanta.

I haven't mentioned it because its slightly embarrassing, but I totally had to go buy new pants last weekend. 14s are just too tight. So, back to 16s I go :( I'm miserable, but now see just how helpful my band is and how much I really do need it.

Ohh, Dental Woes!!!

The tooth where my filling fell out at is making me miserable. After finishing my blog yesterday I finally got in touch with the dentist and made an appt for next Friday! I thought I would be uncomfortable until then, but could make it. I asked to work from NJ next Friday so I could go out with my girls Thursday night. Well, earlier in the day today my tooth started really hurting. It felt like I had my wisdom tooth removed again. You know that feeling? Where if feels like the actual bone of your jaw has been sawed on? Yep, that's it. So, I called my dentist back and changed the appt. to this Friday then came back and asked my director if it was okay ;) He didn't really have a choice.

I feel better knowing that I have to wait two days instead of 9, but I'm in some serious pain. I know I can physically make it until this Friday, I just hope I mentally can. Popped two Advil earlier and it feels slightly better.

I did, in fact, exercise Monday night. Took my dog on a good, hard walk. However, I did not exercise last night and seriously doubt if I will until Friday. I really just want to curl up in bed and sleep. :(

Wish the pain was affecting my eating, but it's not. Still shoving food in my face like it's going out of style!

This week's resolution..

is to work out every week day this week for at least 30 minutes.

The weather in DC is really great this week. Highs are in the upper and lower 70s through Friday. I think it will be a great week to take my dog on walks around the area and just be outside as much as possible.

Saturday I went to a county fair in NJ and it was freaking amazing. It was free and OK Go, Train and The Bravery (!!!!!) played. The Bravery was so amazing. They weren't the headliners, OK Go and Train were, but The Bravery was the best of them all...it doesn't hurt that they are one of my favorite bands, either.

I think one of my fillings has come out...I'm currently miserable. This is one of the bad things about traveling for work...I can't just run to the dentist!

Traveling Woes

One of the difficult things about working out of town during the week is traveling and trying to cater my diet to my on-the-road lifestyle.

I try and buy a few groceries to keep at the hotel and snacks to bring to work with me. I typically eat oatmeal & a 4oz greek yogurt for breakfast. For lunch, I eat out a lot, but try and make it healthy since I need a fill and can eat normal portions right now. I bring snacks like almonds, luna bars, things like that. Dinner? I usually eat out again. My hotel does have a range and a microwave, but very limited on utensils and pots & pans. I was able to make pan seared scallops last week, but it's very hard. If I do cook, I bring left overs for lunch.

I'm also working long hours at this client. Back in NJ, when I got home from work, I'd go straight to the gym after letting my dog out. Here, I'm 1. exhausted 2. starving and 3. hate the gym (if you can even call it that) at my hotel. Last week I did pilates in my room using videos online, but really that was it.

Hopefully, I'll be back in NJ full-time in a month. This schedule is not conducive to my lifestyle!!!!!

Bad mood!

Do you ever have days where you are in a bad mood, but you can't really explain why?

I feel like that today.

I'm afraid if someone looks at me wrong, says something that could maybe potentially be taken in a disrespectful way, or if someone does one thing to aggravate me I'm going to go off.

And I had a cookie at lunch. BUT I AM NOT SORRY FOR THAT! I needed it, I wanted it, so I bought it.

I think a lot of it has to do with traveling for work every week. I'm tired of it. I just want to be in NJ and sleep in my own bed and see my friends and have a life. I was just starting to get one when all this commuting b.s. started.

Insanity

So you know that gunman / bomber / hostage taker at the Discovery Channel today? Yeah, so I was there...well, accross the street. My client that I'm working on down here in the DC area is right across the street. We were locked down all afternoon. I was freaking out.

This was my view today:

Executive Decision

I've made an executive decision. Even though I only have 3 hours of vacation left FOR THE YEAR I'm going to take a day off and fly back to ATL to get another fill. I know, it's only been 3 weeks since my last one, but I'm not planning to fly back until mid to late October.

I'm planning this because 1. I'm not staying full. I've done the 4oz / 4 hour protein test and failed miserably. 2. My free year of aftercare expires 11/20. I think late October is a great time and I'll just get a little fill and when I'm home for Christmas (if I need it), I'll get another fill and, hopefully, that will hold me for a while.

Last night I made scallops for dinner. Scallops are not only band friendly (I can eat them when I'm super tight), but are soooo good for you! I sauteed fresh scallops from the seafood counter and made a special asian inspired sauce and it turned out amazing. I felt all chef-like!

I also did pilates in my hotel room using online videos from sparkpeople.com. I can definitely feel my abs today!

Maintaining?

OK, so when I went back to get my fill on 8/9 it turned out that I had gained ~20lb in about 6 weeks. Bad, huh?

So, the NP told me that my goal needs to be to lose those 20lb by the time I come back in December for another fill.

Good news is, I've lost a few of the pounds. Bad news is that it's just not coming off all that easy and, to be honest, I understand why. I'm not working out like I should and my eating is not so great, still. Even though I'm at 4.9 cc, I really have very little restriction. I feel my band, but I don't get full when I should. Therefore, I continue to eat.

I totally know what I have to do, but the motivation is seriously lacking. Boo. And, since I live in a hotel 5 nights a week, eating healthy foods is a true chore. I have a microwave and a refrigerator, but no oven and I can't eat another Lean Cuisine even if you paid me $100.

ALSO, this really weird thing started about 3 weeks ago where I absolutely MUST have something sweet after a meal. It's like my body is craving it! So, I'm trying the SF FF pudding thing, but am getting pretty grossed out really quick. Any ideas?

Seacrest out!

Pee ess: I think I have a few new followers, but can't access your blog! If you are following me and I'm not following you, please comment and leave the address to your blog!

Finally, an update!

I’m now working on a project in the DC area. Good news is that its only for about 5 weeks. Bad news is that I have no idea what project I’ll get on after that. I really don’t want to commute to another city / state. I hate living out of a hotel! I’m also frustrated because I was transferred to NJ to work for a specific client. Now, that client is “on hold” and we have no other clients in that area. I did not sign up for this and do plan on voicing my concerns if this commuting becomes a regular thing.

Vacation was great. The cruise was wonderful; too short, but wonderful (except for me getting Montezuma’s Revenge on the last day. I’ll post a few pictures soon…not of Montezuma’s Revenge, though haha.

The day we got back in the country I found out that my dog had been at the emergency vet while I was gone and was now staying with a friend because the boarding place didn’t want to keep her there. All that happened was that her paws got irritated by the rocks in their outdoor area (seriously, what daycare / boarding place has ROCKS in the outside area?!?! What’s wrong with good old fashioned concrete?) so they took her to the vet. The vet wanted her paws to stay dry so they called my “emergency contact” which they should not have. They were supposed to call my mom first. Anyway, thank goodness for good (new) friends! Manolo had a ball with them and they now love her. Anyway, the boarding facility charged my card and forged my signature to I had to dispute the charge yesterday. I hope they suck it and get sued big time by my cc.

I had my long awaited fill done the day before I flew home. Before this appt. I had 2cc taken out and was at 3.9 cc…pretty much nothing in the band and I ate like a pig for the next 7 weeks. That day, she said she was wary of putting in too much since I was so irritated before at 5.9 cc so she just brought be up to 4.9 cc. I definitely don’t feel tight and can still eat things I shouldn’t, but I’m slowly dropping some pounds that I put on while being (mostly) empty. I do have restriction, not much, but it’s there. That’s a bonus. I’m also really trying hard to work out more…gotta drop these pounds!

Anyway, I'm back and ready to update this joker on a regular basis!

Geeeeeeez...post much?

This will be short but sweet.

Got back from my trip yesterday and drove to DC last night. At work today.

I have 350+ posts to read...my god you guys, it's like you all went on a posting frenzy.

Needless to say, it will take me a while to catch up on your lives.

Vacay! Vacay! Vacay!

Vacay starts tomorrow! Heading to the A (Atlanta for those not in the know) tomorrow afternoon and will celebrate my mom's birthday early.

Thursday a.m. a friend and I will head on to Mobile to meet up with two other friends and start our cruise! Just a quick cruise to Cozumel and back, but will be soooo much fun, esp. with all four of us crammed into one stateroom!

Disembark Monday morning and my friend and I have to HAUL it back to the A so I can get some liquid gold put in my band and then I fly home on Tuesday morning! Voila!

News on the job front is that the client I was transferred up here to work with has put the project "on hold." Personally, I don't think it's going to be taken off hold, but that's beside the point. So, starting next Wednesday, I'm going to be commuting weekly to the D.C. area! HA! I'm really not too thrilled about it, but as long as I'm working with fun people (which I will be), staying busy (which it sounds like I will be), and as long as Manolo comes with, I'm good!

Downside is that I won't get to hang out with my friends during the week, but we'll just have to hang on the weekends. They better not forget about me!

Let's Be Honest...

Got on the scale today, I'm now up 16lb from 4.5 weeks ago. Wow. Shame on me, right? I was hoping I'd never have to feel my pants be too tight or be unhappy in clothes that I have, but here I am. Back in this position.

The bad thing is I'm going on a cruise before I go back to my surgeon. So, it's pretty safe to say I'll prob. be up 20 freaking pounds by the time they add fluid back. UGH. UGH. UGH.

In positive news, I had a great weekend! On Friday one of the PMOs told me to work from home Monday and Tuesday. So, today is my first day in the office this week! 3 day week this week, 2 day week next week (then cruise!), then 3 day week when I get back. Not too shabby, right?

Thursday night I went out and had a good time. Was definitely hungover on Friday. Sunday I went to the Yankees game (barf. Go Braves!) and had a liiiiiittle too much to drink. There was a 2 hour rain delay so we went to a bar around the corner from the stadium. We met some boys, had some drinks, and generally enjoyed ourselves. Thank goodness I didn't have to come in to work on Monday.

My only complaint is some frustration I'm having with a friend. She's the one I generally go drink with. She's pretty. Typical beautiful blonde. However, I'm starting to get the "frenemy" vibe from her. Say some guy is giving me attention...she does everything in her power to have the attention switched from me to her. So frustrating. And then, she makes excuses for me because I'm from Georgia. Say someone says something not true that I believe (I'm slightly gullible, but mostly I pretend to be as a flirtation) and she's like, "Oh! Don't worry about her. She's from Georgia...she doesn't get it." And she says this to everyone. I may be Southern, honey, but I'm not an idiot. And at least I'm polite. You might want to try it. It will get you a lot further in life.

OK. I'm going to end this. I can't get my thoughts to come out right.

Workout

OMG. I went to the gym yesterday. Go me.

I will never be a gym rat. I hate working out. I hate sweating. I hate doing monotonous things (like a treadmill, elliptical, etc.).

However, I made myself go immediately after work. If I go home to change or anything, I won't go. So I went directly from work and plan to do so again today.

My workout yesterday was one of those that prevents you from walking, sitting on the toilet, getting up from said toilet, etc the next day. My.legs.hurt. But they hurt soooooo good ;)

Homesickness: Possibly Averted?

Oh my...what a fab weekend! Probably the best since I've lived up here. Not only did I go out, have people over, and have fun, but I lost 2 of the pounds I've gained since having the fluid in my band taken out!

Friday night was super chill. I cleaned up a storm in my house. My house looks spotless...Or it did. Yesterday I noticed dog hair on the hardwoods. Ugh. The joys of pet ownership.

Saturday I ran errands, did a little shopping, and laid by the pool for a few hours. I was planning to pop a pizza in the oven and watch my Netflix that night, but one of the girls from Thursday texted me and invited me out with her and a few of the other girls. So off I went! We had such a good time. Hopped to a few bars and finally ended up at this really great bar that has a huuuuuge outdoor area. We chatted with some guys and one guy even bought me a drink. That hasn't happened in years. Stayed until after last call and ended up at home around 2 am.

Sunday was pool day. I was out by 11:30 and stayed out until 4! One of my friends from the night before came over so time flew by as we chatted and got some sun. It was really nice. I passed out at 9pm.

17 days until my cruise. I'm so excited about it. I'm also so excited that in 22 days, I get fluid put back in my band and I can get back on the right path.

Oh My! A Positive Post!

I thought I might shake things up a bit and write about something positive. I swear I'm really a super happy, positive person in real life. I just take my frustrations out on my blog so I sound like a sour-puss...I'm not!

Still struggling with having a near-empty band, but I'm making it. I've decided to stop stressing about it, live my life, and know that the weight will come off again. But I will tell you this...I cannot WAIT to get some fluid back in there!

Last night I went out with some girls to a super fancy restaurant here (the owners used to own the super fancy (overpriced) restaurant on the lake in the park in NYC) for a class in how to make certain drinks. Last night we learned how to make 3 types of Sangria: red, white, and blueberry (they do this each month...last month it was Gin). It was sooooo so so fun and I met a few new girls that I certainly plan to hang out with soon...as in next week! Def. got a little buzzed and stayed out much later than I had planned (thought I'd be home by 9pm...ha!)

Anyway, I really hope you all have a fabulous weekend. I plan on hanging by (and when I say by I mean in) the pool both days, maybe doing some LIGHT shopping, and turning over my DVR to the evil cable company. I got rid of cable, HBO (GOODBYE TRUE BLOOD!!!), and my DVR so save some money. :( Sometimes we have to do some painful things!

Revelations...

Do you ever have your blog written in your head before you even sit in front of your computer? This morning, while walking Manolo, I was writing my blog in my head.

It went something like this:
-I was kicking myself, again, because I had another night of binges and no exercise. That makes ZERO minutes of exercise this week...remember my promise to do 7 hours this week?
-I was wondering why I'm doing it? Why can't I get off my ass and do something other than open the refrigerator door?
-I was thinking of how sad I am...how I really haven't been the same since returning from vacation...AND THEN IT HIT ME!

I'm homesick.

I'm really homesick. You'd think that 2 weeks with my family would make me want to kill them (which it did) and want to get back to NJ ASAP. Yes, my family drove me nuts, but I had so much fun seeing my friends and my beautiful city that it just made me realize what I don't have here in NJ. I don't have friends. I hate my job. I hate the area I live in. Blah, blah, blah. Bitch, whine, bitch, whine.

I'm miserable at work. I avoid talking to people at all costs b/c I'm in such a foul mood. All day I tell myself how I'm going to workout that night and plan on what I'll do at the gym, but as soon as the work day is over, I just think about how I just want to go home, watch TV and go to bed early. I'm clearly depressed. What's making me even more depressed is my eating and gaining weight and clothes starting to get snug again. I promised myself I'd never get back over 200 again, but here I am!

What's it going to take to get me out of this sadness? How can I snap out of this? How can I get back to eating well and working out?

I'm so frustrated. If there were Oreo's by me, I'd eat them right now...but there isn't. ;)

Continuing on the downward (upward?) spiral & Recipe!

Bad news first: I can't stop eating. And I can't stop eating bad food! Sundays are my grocery shopping day and yesterday I did well. I bought ingredients to make Portabello Mushroom Pizza (mushroom is the dough), WW spaghetti, healthy quesadillas, & healthy breakfasts.

Items I did not buy: milk & cereal. I've known this all my life: I cannot have milk or cereal in my house. I will eat it. FAST. Also did not buy fatty snacks (cookies, ice cream, etc.).

Also, I went to the Offspring and 311 (love!) concert on Saturday. When I got there, some friends were tailgating and offered me a beer. Who am I to turn them down? I ended up having 5 that night...ugh.

I'm scared to get on the scale so I'm just not going to do it this week. I'm upping my exercise and am planning healthy meals so, hopefully (*crosses fingers*) I can drop a few lbs before I weigh in next Monday.

I put on my one pair of shorts that I own (14s) and I had muffin top! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Good news: Yesterday I decided to make a super yummy fruit salad. I had some fruit in the house that was about to go bad and bought a few types of fruit to add to it. It even has a yummy glaze on it that adds a little sweetness w/o a lot of calories.

Fruit Salad & Banana Glaze
Glaze:
1 banana
2 Tbsp honey
Juice from 1 lemon

Peel banana and cut into large chunks (think 1/3 chunks). Place in a shallow bowl and squeeze lemon on banana. Add honey. Mash up banana with a fork until it's a smooth, yet thick liquid. Pour into bowl before chopping fruit (I do this b/c when I chop up the apples, I throw them into the glaze immediately so they don't start to turn brown).

Salad (You can use any fruit, but this is just what I had on hand):
1 apple, chopped in chunks
2 pears, chopped in chunks
1 can of Mandarin Oranges, in light syrup, drained
1 lb. of strawberries, chopped in chunks
handful of grapes, halved

Chop up all the fruit and add to the glaze. It's yummy AND healthy.

BYOC - My 1st!

I have NEVER done a BYOC, but this one had a question I particularly liked so here we go:

1. Love or money? High salary or job satisfaction?

Love & job satisfaction. I currently have a job where I make a lot of money, but I hate it. I hate coming to work every day, I am not so fond of a few of my coworkers, and I'm really just not happy with what I do. It's not the company, it's the industry and it's the type of work I do. I am a perfect example of how money can't buy happiness. I want to do something I feel is fulfilling; something that I can look back at when I'm old or when I'm no longer in this world and know that I made a difference.

This has lead me to have a few lightbulbs go off in my head and I'm hoping to talk about some changes I plan to make...however don't expect me to talk about the changes anytime soon. It's going to take a while to come to fruition.

2. What is your favorite time of day?

Evening / night during the week and daytime during the weekend. On weekends you'll find me by the pool or playing tennis...two of my favorite hobbies. During the week, I really enjoy vegging out and watching mindless tv in the evenings.

3. My in-laws just had their wills done so it made me wonder this. Do you have a will? Did you tell anyone your wish to be kept alive or not?

I don't have a will. It's a given that if something were to happen to me, my parents get it all. I'm single, have no dependents, so mom & dad get everything.

My mom and I have spoken about our post-mortem wishes. She knows I want to be cremated and, due to the Terry Shiavo incident, they are also well aware that they should let me go if there is no hope of me getting better. No life support. It's how God made us.

4. Repeat question. Pick one thing for one day you'll do next week that aids in your physical or mental health.

Exercise for 7 hours a week!

5. Repeat questions. Make someone a superstar for a moment...whose comment or blog stuck with you this week and why.

I don't get an excess of comments (which is okay, I'm not so good at commenting on others blogs), but I did enjoy Band Groupie's comment earlier this week...turns out we're sisters in fills. She just had 2cc taken out, too, and is at 3.9cc like me!

We take the good with the bad

I mentioned I had an unfill on the 28th.

The good:
-I'm able to eat things I haven't eaten since before getting the band.
-I'm eating solid protein, veggies, and drinking tons of water with ease!
-Reflux has subsided

The bad:
-I have ZERO restriction. My band is so open that food goes through like it did before I got it.
-I've gained weight...Oh yes, I have. I'm not going to say how much, because it's quite embarrassing to have gained this amount in 11 days. My goal is to get it off in the next 28 days, though.
-Because I can eat, I've been eating things I SHOULDN'T. Examples: pizza, pancakes, cereal (total trigger food), Nachos Bell Grande (total weakness), Cheetos etc.

I have to get this under control. I'm considering signing up for a month of Weight Watchers just so I can monitor points.

I'm completely aware that I've been eating things I shouldn't and that I should be using this month to learn to eat nutritious foods that I couldn't two weeks ago. I'd like to think that I'm just getting this out of my system, but I know better than that. It's just an excuse and I'm tired of making excuses. Excuses are what got me to where I was and why I needed the band. This last week and a half shows me why I needed the band and shows me that I still have issues with food.

Like a fish back in the water

Growing up, I was a competitive swimmer for 9 years. I swam year-round and competed at a very high level. I was amazing, if I do say so myself!

Fast forward 13 years and I haven't swam a single lap in a pool...until last night. I'm finally semi-comfortable being in a swimsuit (a conservative, lap-swimming one piece) and decided to start taking advantage of the pools at my gym!

Gosh, what a difference 13 years makes. I used to be able to swim my heart out 4 days a week for 2 hours a day! Last night, I had to FIGHT to keep swimming for 40 minutes! I did it, though, and my arms are hurting like a mother today, as are my hip flexors.

You'd think that because it was so difficult that I'd be discouraged. Oh no no. Not so, my fine blogger friends! It makes me want to work harder to get back into the shape I was in while I was competing!

However, I do have to adjust my workouts. I thought I would be able to swim for at least an hour, but that's not gonna happen. Instead, I'll do a few weights in the actual gym then head to the pool for 40 minutes.

Sound good? Good.

Up next: why I can't stop eating and how much I hate getting unfills. Stay tuned ;)

Hating Life...

Ugh. I do not want to be back. Do you have any idea how amazing it was to not think about work for 18 days?!? Or to be out of NJ for 16 days?!? It was bliss...

Vacation was super. It was fabulous. It was just what I needed. I've got a nice little tan going, too!

After I had the 2cc taken out 8 days ago, I fell off the wagon and have gained a few lbs. I was so excited to be able to eat and boy can I!! I only have the slightest bit of restriction now. I'm not eating as much as I was pre-op, but I'm eating more than I have since post-op. So, back on the wagon I go.

I'm going to give myself a personal challenge: 7 hours of exercise per week until I go on my cruise (30 days!). It's going to be tough, but I need something to keep me accountable.

After the cruise (the day we dock), I'm going back to my surgeon in ATL and we are going to discuss adding some of the 2cc back in. I'm fully prepared to get 1cc max put in. I don't think they will be as aggressive with fills from here on out, which I'm completely okay with.

Prior to my fiascos of the last few months, I was aiming for speed when it came to weight loss. Now, I want it to be as painless as possible...I'm speaking both figuratively and literally.

Today, I have eaten (so far):

-Reduced Sugar Oatmeal packet
-Cup of Mandarin Oranges
-Ham & Swiss on low carb tortilla
-Baby Carrots & 1/4 c hummus
-Mini York Patty

Vacay Update!

I'm still mid-vacation...lucky me!

We were at the beach house last week and it was beautiful! No tar, no oil, no smell...it was fabulous! I'll share pics when I get back to NJ. I even went to a water park!

We came back to ATL yesterday and I went to my original surgeon's office. I spoke to the Nurse Practitioner and we talked about the problems I've had. She agreed that some fluid had to come out. So, she took out 2cc and that now leaves me at 3.9cc. Sooo, I'm pretty loose, but I think this is what my body needs to heal, especially from the reflux.

I'm at a new low, 192.8 (I left the ticker at 193 b/c I round up) so I finally passed that 70lb mark! 40lb more to go to my ULTIMATE goal. :)

I'll post more when I get back to NJ!

And I'm Off!!!

Hitting the road in just a few hours! I'll be making my way back to GA (for about 5 min) then on to PCB, FL! I'm stopping in S. VA for the night tonight and will finish my drive tomorrow.

2 whole weeks away from work! I can't wait!

I plan to spend as much time at the beach / in the ocean and take as many pictures as I can before the oil hits my beloved PCB. I have to enjoy it while I can.

Also, planning to eat lots of fish and shrimp (well, as much as my band will allow)!

I'll be reading while I'm gone, but prob. not updating too much.

In case I miss it, Happy 4th!!!

Followers...

Just a quick note to say that if you follow me, but I don't follow you, please leave a comment so I can be sure to start following you!

Decisions About the Future of My Band

I had my follow up with the NP at my new doctor's office. We got through all the formalities and she asked "How are you doing?" My answer? "Not so great." I went through the laundry list of issues from last post plus some (having difficulty drinking water, GERD, barely eating mushy food, constantly feeling my band, losing hair etc.) and I'm only at 5.9cc after having up to 6.2cc. I asked her "is it supposed to be this hard? should i be suffering with my band so much?" She said no, absolutely not.

I'll skip giving you the play by play of our conversation, but basically I told her what I was planning and she agreed. I'm leaving to go to our beach house in Panama City Beach on Friday (helloooo 19 hour drive) and after spending a week there, I'm staying in Atlanta for a week. The Monday of the week I'll be home I have an appt. scheduled at my original doctor's office. I'm getting at least 1cc taken out...maybe even 2cc. I just need my band / stomach / esophagus to get better. I'll be back in August and will possibly get some of the fluid added back, but prob. not all.

I'm preparing for a more difficult weight loss. I know it will be harder with a looser band, but I can't take eating like this anymore. I want vegetables, I want rotisserie chicken, I want lean ground hamburger. And, actually, the weight loss might be easier with a looser band. I'll have more energy, feel like working out, and feel like eating healthier / better quality foods than the slider foods I've been eating. I'm tired of being dehydrated. I'm tired of constantly thinking if a certain food will go down. I'm tired of being constantly worried of throwing up.

Ready to get this healing process show on the road.

New Food Ideas, Hair Loss, & GERD

I attempted to eat part of a burrito bowl from Chipotle today. Yeah, the 7/8ths that I didn't eat is still sitting right here next to me. Good news: I didn't PB and I was able to get some really quality bites of chicken. Bad news: Like I mentioned a sec ago, I barely ate 1/8th of it. $8.00 down the tube!

So, it got me thinking about food and how, lately, I've been eating slider foods b/c I'm terrified of PBing (which I often do). I was reading Lap Band Gal's blog and she listed a recipe for a pretty darn healthy custard (mmmm) and mentioned a website, Bariatric Eating, which has lots of great recipes! Now, realize that this website is geared more to the bypassers so you really need to do the nutritionals on the recipes (since they don't worry as much about fat), but a lot of the recipes are really great! What a wonderful resource!

What food can you eat that you don't have to worry about getting stuck / PBing that are nutritious? I'm thinking I'll make (not all at one time, mind you) some mashed "potatoes" aka cauliflower, a lean meat loaf (or maybe I'll make my dad make one when I'm home in two and a half weeks), rotisserie chicken, def. the custard, etc. What are veggies you can eat?

Also, I'm losing my hair. Bad. Clumps of it every time I touch my head and I really don't have a lot of hair to begin with. I know it means I'm protein deficient (hello! slider foods!) so I'm working on that, but meat really scares me for the PB factor.

Also, I've had the dreaded GERD ever since I was so tight this last time. I wake up in the middle of the night with a mouth full of acid and have to run to the sink to spit it out. It's disgusting. I started taking some Prilosec, but it's really not helping. I know I need to not eat or drink anything a few hours before bed, but this is when my band is loose(r) for the day and I can get in the liquids and calories I didn't earlier in the day.

Ugh. The price we pay.

Vacay and Oil Spill

Pretty much not related to the band.

I'm so excited! In a week and a half Manolo and I are driving back to ATL and immediately to my parents beach house in Panama City Beach, FL. My Lovie (niece) will even be there! Just me, mom, dad, and my Lovie (and Manolo, too). A week in FL and a week in ATL. That's two weeks of not dealing with my job and two weeks of being back in my beloved South.

I've been looking forward to this for MONTHS, but now it's different. Stupid oil spill. Stupid BP. Stupid stupid stupid (I'm boycotting BP, btw, and hope you are, too). I cry daily thinking of what we've done to the animals (dead oil-soaked dolphin, anyone?) and to the environment. I cry because I want to know why God would let this happen. I cry because I think of all the people who live 365 days a year at the beach and rely on tourism for their income. I cry b/c this affects my parents income. And, I cry b/c we've ruined my favorite place on Earth and it will take years and years to clean up and may still never be back to the way it was.

Enough rant.

I'm getting a new MacBook and a new iPhone.

There, I ended on a happy note.

Evidence

This is me in my new 14 jeans that I bought this afternoon! Never thought I'd be so happy to be a 14!

New NSV!

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I have fitness class. Last night my trainer came up to me and said, "You look different!" and I said, "How do you mean?" He said, "You look like you've lost a bunch...have you?" and I only saw him last Wednesday. I said "YES! I have!"

It made me so excited!

One of my coworkers also commented on how much thinner I look and I see the guy every day...maybe I was having a skinny day yesterday ;)

Either way, I'll take it!

Fat Celebrities?

I was reading the NY Daily News this am, there was a link to a photo gallery of gorgeous celebs made to look fat.

Have a look here.

Is this not hilarious? Take the doctored photo of Megan Fox. Who has a chin like that yet still has their collar bones showing? Fat people aren't only heavy in the chin...it's all over. I find it so amusing to see how others see "fatness."

Happy Post-Memorial Day!

Usually, I would be very depressed on the first day of the work week, but not so this week! Only 4 day week!

Memorial Day weekend was fabulous (for living in a new place and not knowing anyone). I had a 4 day weekend so Friday I did some shopping (I love sales!) and got some great stuff from Ann Taylor Loft and H&M. I also sent out two HUGE boxes of sisterhood clothes to Suzi and Jen! I hope you guys like the stuff!

Saturday, even though the pool was officially open, it was a little chilly (mid 70s) so I did stuff around the house and watched tons of movies.

Sunday and Monday were pool days!!!!! It was so great to be laying in hot (for NJ) weather and dipping my feet in the pool. What a life.

I also managed to get in a workout on Friday and Sunday, which is such a feat b/c when I'm off work, I usually refuse to go to the gym. I am giving myself a pat on the back for slowly changing my poor habits.

I hope you all had wonderful weekends and HAPPY SUMMER!!!!!

Hydrated & Ready to Rock!

So, I'm fully rehydrated since my issue last week. I gained back 3lb, but the dr. said he thought the scale would move up since I had so little fluid in me.

I made some turkey chili over the weekend and I think it would be wonderful, but I put too many crushed red pepper flakes in it! Spi-cy!

I have also found the most delicious mashed potatoes you can buy. Side note: I still have to eat very mushy foods at lunch. Popeye's Chicken! The gravy has bits of meat in it and it has a little kick to it. I highly recommend.

Did anyone catch the "Overweight in America" show that aired on CNBC last Monday? I thought it was excellent! It's a great look at the disease and what we need to do to reverse it.

So, I've had a delayed celebration of making it to Onederland. I didn't want to celebrate when it first showed on my scale bc I didn't know if it was real or not. Well, it's real. I've hit it and I'm so happy. It's amazing how one little number can really work you over psychologically. I love seeing that "1". I still have around 45lb. to go to my ULTIMATE goal and 35lb. to my original goal.

I changed my goal recently b/c I noticed that at under 200 I couldn't see myself the way I'd like to be at 165. I felt like at 155 I would be happier AND it's well into my "normal" range for BMI. 165 was at the very high end. I don't want to be close to being overweight anymore!

What Would You Do?...

I need some advice, pls.

I have a male coworker who drives me insane. He's one of those people who jokes around all the time and thinks that everyone else likes to joke, too. A few other things he does that drives me nuts: 1. asks me a question, but never listens to the answer and asks that same question a few hours later 2. CONSTANTLY interrupts me (and anyone else) mid-conversation and doesn't just interrupt, realize he did it, and stop. No, no, he continues to interrupt as in he talks over me until I stop talking and 3. This is the big one. He constantly makes fun of the foods I eat.

3. is the big pisser for me. How do I handle this? How do I get him to stop? I've been bitchy and I've ignored him. Neither work. I pretty much went off on him yesterday calling him an idiot and told him to stop talking to me. He's still mad which is fine with me, but it's not realistic in a work environment where we have to constantly communicate.

Thoughts? Ideas? Anything??

NSV!! Clothes for the Sisterhood???

Great news! I'm officially a size 14!

I'd noticed a few pair of my work pants were getting big, but I've been so "out of it" since Friday that I didn't pay too much attention.

This a.m. I got dressed and felt like I was wearing MC Hammer pants! Soooo, I tried on a couple other pair...HAMMER PANTS! So I went shopping in my closet (b/c you know I keep smaller sizes from my skinnier days) and voila! The 14s fit!

So long, 16s!

Anyone interested in Ann Taylor slacks or an Ann Taylor suit? Size 16. Let me know if interested and I'll take some pictures!

Adjustment update...and letting the cat out of the bag!

One of the direct results of being overfilled for the last week was me going home early on Friday. Since I have moved up to NJ I've missed quite a few days of work due to "having a stomach virus."

I decided yesterday that I would tell my two supervisors what has truly been wrong with me. These are 2 guys. One is a mid 60's retired Colonel from the Army. The other is a guy about 10 years older than me. They both took the news really well and were happy I told them what the root of my "sickness" was because, apparently, they were beginning to get concerned for my health. So, not so bad telling them! However, I'm still not willing to tell people outside of my "circle of trust" about my band.

This morning I had the adjustment to remove fluid. Luckily, it only cost the flat $200 instead of $550. The surgeon didn't do it under floroscopy, he just did it in one of the patient rooms. Why can't they always do this???? I don't understand practices that refuse to do non-floroscopy fills!

Anyway, he took out .3 cc so now I'm at 5.9 cc. He almost only took out .2 cc, but I asked him to take out another .1 just to be safe.

I'm so happy to be drinking fluids and re-hydrating myself. This morning I weighed in at 197...that's 10lb down from exactly one week ago. I realize that some of that is from being dehydrated. So, I'm anxious to see what the scale does within the next few days.

I spoke too soon.

Getting an unfill tomorrow. SO FRUSTRATING!!!! But it has to be done.

I had the fill last Tuesday and he put in the .2 cc that he removed 2 months before (that puts me at 6.2 cc in a 10 cc band). The thing is, I think he should have only put in .1 cc because when he did it under floroscopy, only a little trickle of barium was going through. It looked too tight on the film, but he's the doctor / surgeon and I would hope he'd know what to look for. Obviously not.

I felt okay Tuesday - Thursday (was tight, but thought it was like how I am with every other adjustment...sensitive), but on Friday I was in Hell. I started having reflux in the night. I would sleep for 15 min then would wake up hacking and coughing with a mouth full of acid. Horrible. I can barely get any liquids down. The only way I get any liquid in is by sucking on ice chips. Hello, it's been SIX DAYS since my adjustment!!! I'm miserable, pure miserable.

So now I have to pay an additional $400 to fix this doctor's mistake. I am SO not made of money and this cannot become a habit.

I hate my employer for not electing bariatric coverage, I hate being self pay, I hate not being in ATL where MY DOCTOR is and where my adjustments are free.

I'm so frustrated. Really trying not to flip out on someone.

Fills: A Catch 22

Fills are wonderful things, yet nightmares for me.

I'm one of those people who is extra sensitive to fills. Instead of being on 24 or 48 hrs of liquids post-fill, I'm on liquids for about a full week. Then, I sloooowly start adding in mushies. It's like going through the surgery all over again. It stinks because around day 3 I just want something solid in my tummy, but it's wonderful b/c this is the stage where I lose a ton of weight.

For example: it's been around 48 hours since my fill and I have already dropped 4.5 lb. I'm now no longer considered obese! I'm just 2.5 lb away from Onederland, as well! One might think that I'll gain some of this weight back when I start eating mushies & solids, but that's not so, my friends! It hasn't happened yet and I'm not about to start.

Tonight I'm going out with some girls and we're going to learn how to do the Hustle (Queue the music...). Fun times!

Biting the Bullet

Hello lovelies!!!

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mom's and Future Mom's!

I hope you all have had a nice weekend! My butt has been planted on my couch and in my bed, except for a haircut and a shopping trip to Old Navy yesterday :) This is just the kind of weekend I like! Although, I do miss being with my Mom on Mother's Day, a little sad about that.

It has come to my attention (well, I've known it for weeks) that I need a fill. Remember, that since I moved from ATL (where I had surgery 5.5 mo. ago) I now have to pay RIDICULOUS amounts to get fills (as in $600 for each one). I have several options: 1. wait until I go back to ATL in mid June and get a free fill or 2. pay $600 and get one in NJ and schedule a free one when I go back to ATL in early August. When I say free, I mean that it's included in my one year of aftercare. So, that will be over on 11/20/10.

I have chosen option #2 and let me tell you why. Up here, fills are done under fluoroscopy so I feel like it will be a little more accurate. Also, if you look to the right, I have a goal of hitting 200 by Memorial Day. I am 6lb. away and cannot break this plateau! I've been here for about 6 weeks! And finally, if I get this fill now, it will be about 3 mo. when I go back to ATL and, in my head, I'm thinking I'll need a fill now.

I'm just ready to get back on the losing train again. I'm enjoying losing weight and seeing my body change, but this is not where I want to stay. I still have 41 lb. until goal so this journey is not over by a long shot.

So, I scheduled for a fill on Tuesday! Let's hope this jump starts me!

*squish*

Stardustic posted this really great blog about what your fat feels like. I'm soooo squishy right now. It's gross. I can squish the skin on my forearm and my hips?? Don't even get me started.

I just feel so soft right now. It's kind of grossing me out. Even ~60lb heavier I was more firm than this. It's not loose skin, either. It's soft fat.

I'm working out and lifting weights in hopes of firming this up. I realize that some of it may end up being loose skin, but hopefully not as much as right now.

Anyone else squishy now or at one point?

Do you ever...

Do you ever have days where you just don't feel like eating? You are hungry, but you really don't want to go through the hassle of finding something band-friendly to eat? Or maybe eating just isn't fun like it used to be?

That's how I feel. I guess it's good that eating isn't fun like it used to be b/c that's one of the reasons why I got so fat. Eating should be for sustenance, not enjoyment...or at least that's what super healthy people always say. I don't know about you, but sometimes I really miss eating like I used to.

Perfect example: I hail from the land of Chick-fil-a. Greatest fast food restaurant. EVER. Now that I'm up north, Chick-fil-as are hard to come by. So, I found one about 45 min. away and for the last two weeks I've been planning to make a trek for the delicious nuggets w/ Polynesian sauce. So, I went on Saturday. I ordered the 12 nugget pack (bc I wanted left overs, holla!) and an iced tea. As I was walking to my table, my mouth was watering, my heart started racing, and I started anticipating how delicious these hot nuggets would be! I took a bite the size of a 1/3 of a nugget. I chewed and chewed and chewed and swallowed. Stuck. That day, I was able to eat 2 nuggets. I would have given almost anything to chew away at those delicious morsels and not feel my band. One of the few times I've felt that way.

But today, I just don't feel like eating at all! I don't want to deal with feeling my band when I eat. I made a great crustless quiche last night with broccoli, mushrooms, and cheese, but I just don't feel like eating it for lunch today...or any other food really. My tummy says "lets eat!" but my head says "why bother?" I know I have to eat, but meals are just much more of an ordeal than they used to be.

You see, my band is very temperamental. There aren't a lot of things I can eat that go down smoothly. I eat slightly on the side of mushies on a normal basis. I read what many of my fellow bloggers eat and I constantly think: no way could my band handle that!

I guess even though I will be 5 months post-op tomorrow, I'm still getting used to changing my mental thinking when it comes to eating. I have this notion that I can eat anything I want, just in smaller portions. Not so. I need to come to realize that there are some things I may never eat again.

Updates, updates, updates!

Everything has been going well since my last update. I think I may have passed my plateau as I’m now at 206! 3lb. away from no longer being “obese” and 6lb. away from Onederland! I know that Onederland is not that big of a deal for many of you shorter people, but it’s huge to me. I’m 5’9” so I start looking pretty darn good once I make it to the 100s.

My parents came up to visit me last weekend and we had the best time. I haven’t been homesick since I got here, but if there ever was a time, I was pretty close to it when I dropped them off at the airport last Sunday. I definitely miss Atlanta, but know in my heart of hearts that I’ll go back one day (I just don’t know when that is).

I need a fill and have needed one for some time now. However, since I’m self pay, I really don’t want to spend $700 to get it done up here. Sooooo, I have to wait until June 28th to get it done at my surgeon’s office in ATL. That’s quite a while to wait, my friends! Luckily, I joined a gym last month and signed up for a Team Fitness class. It’s 3 months long and you go 3 days a week. It’s a pure fat burning workout. I also try to go to the gym to do weights another 1-2 times a week. This period until I get another fill is going to be very similar to Bandster Hell, but I am DETERMINED to make my goal of hitting Onederland before Memorial Day!

It’s so interesting to see my body changing. This morning, I was flexing in the mirror and admiring my once hidden muscles. They are lookin’ good! I know I’ve for sure lost muscle mass these last 2 years of inactivity and weight gain. Usually, when I’m at this weight, I’m in tight 14s. Now, I’m in loose 16s, but not at all in 14s. I’m in between and it stinks! I hate my clothes looking so baggy, but would never ever wear clothes that make my legs look like stuffed sausages, you know?

On the semi non-band related front, 3 friends and I booked a cruise for early August! It’s just a 4 nighter, but I’m seriously hoping to be lookin’ hot by then. All 4 of us are going to be crammed in the same cabin. How hilarious will that be! The things we go through to save a few bucks…

Problems!!

I’m having serious problems when it comes to restriction…it’s gone. I haven’t lost a pound in 3 weeks! In fact, I’ve PUT ON 1.5lb. No good, let me tell you. I flirted with my sweet spot, but that’s all it was…flirtation.

I can now chug water (no good), eat cookies (no good), and am hungry at 8am (NO GOOD!). I’m not stupid or naïve. I know what my problems are now I just need to fix them.:

-Cadburry Eggs - I’ve probably eaten a good 20 this Easter. Since Easter is over, this is no longer a problem.

-Candy – specifically chocolate. This became a problem when the Cadburrys became a problem. Oh! And I found that if I was hungry and was too tight (b/c of a fill), I’d eat a chocolate bar and would let the pieces melt in my mouth.

-Tartar Sauce – I eat fish and when I eat fish, I eat Tartar Sauce. I am not going to buy anymore b/c the fat content is just way too high.

-String Cheese – I had been buying the non-low fat version b/c I was having a hard time getting fat and calories. This is no longer a problem. If I must eat string cheese, it’s going to be low-fat from now on.

So, now that restriction (aka sweet spot or green zone) is gone, I have to change a few nasty habits and increase the exercise. I’ve started with the exercise, now just to change those eating habits and I’ll be good, I hope!

In non-band related issues, I am so frustrated about work. I cannot stand the PMO of my current project. He’s not only a jerk to me, but has no filter when it comes to speaking to our client. He flipped out on me today and when that happens, I don’t react so well. If someone starts yelling at me, I yell right back. I can’t help it!

God, grant me patience PLEASE!!!

Sweet Spot = Achieved!

I'm at my sweet spot. Fo' sho'. I can eat, but not a lot...very small amounts. My struggle is eating the right foods. I don't eat a lot of vegetables and I really don't eat much meat. Meat is really difficult for me. I get my protein in mostly through protein drinks and dairy.

I joined a gym this week. It costs $90/mo (RIDICULOUS), but is pretty much worth it. They have over 100 treadmills along with hundreds of other cardio machines, every weight machine you can imagine, 2 indoor pools, an outdoor pool, 3 studios for classes, a gymnasium, rock climbing wall, cafe, spa, and salon! It's amazing.

NJ is not so bad so far. I do miss home, but I'm not as homesick as I thought I would be. My parents are coming up in 2 weeks and I'm really excited about that. I'll be so happy to see them.

Goals for this week are to eat more solid protein, eat vegetables, and work out at least 4x.

eeeeexcellent.

I am now 12lb away from ONEDERLAND and am 10lb away from no longer being obese! Also, 12lb away from my May 31st goal!

I got an unfill last Friday and they took out what was put in back in ATL (.2cc). The effing thing cost me $650 which is ridiculous, but at least I can eat now and I'm still losing weight.

Today is my birthday, as well, so this is all good news and a wonderful present to myself! I haven't weighed this for 2.5 - 3 years, I think.

Yay!

Not doing well...Violent Vomiting & ER Visit

I arrived in NJ for good yesterday. It took me two days to drive it, but I'm up here! The movers won't get here until Wednesday; at least that's the plan right now. So, for now, Manolo & I are shacked up in a Residence Inn.

This morning, I decided to get some eggs from the buffet and take them in a container to work and eat them when I got hungry. So, around 9 I ate some...maybe 2 or 3 bites?...and I was immediately stuck. This was no normal stuck...I was PBing over and over. It got to the point where I couldn't even swallow my saliva.

Now, you might be saying to yourself, "Cody, why didn't you just go to your surgeon and get fluid taken out??" Well, my friends, my surgeon is in ATL and I'm now in NJ. A few weeks ago, I found a Lap-Band Office up here who would do my fills and unfills and I called them today when this issue was happening. They said the NP couldn't see me until I had seen a surgeon and Mondays are surgery days for surgeons. GRRRR! This was not a good situation. I was running to the bathroom every 5 min (I'm sure everyone at my client now thinks I'm pregnant, thank you). So, I made the executive decision to go to the ER.

The ER sucks here. I've never seen a room full of so many sickly people. I got to the point where they took my bp and temp and all that and had to go out in the waiting room before being admitted. Well, before I could even get admitted, I started puking SO HARD and so repetitively that food that was in my stomach (had already passed through the band) was coming up along with the burning, nasty bile. However, after that, I felt like a million bucks compared to before! So, I got out of the ER and came back to the hotel.

I was finally able to speak to the NP at the new surgeon's office and the earliest they can get me in is on Friday. I am fo' sho' getting fluid taken out. Until then, pure liquids.

I'm affraid I may have slipped my band, though. Can one violent episode like this flip it? I sure hope not. I've never had a fill done under floro, but I'm actually hoping they do the unfill under floro on Friday just to calm my fears!

Anyone else ever puked over and over so violently??? I'm slightly scared...

4th Fill

Today I had my fourth fill. Prior to today, I was at 6cc in a 10cc band. I wasn't sure I should even get a fill. I've lost 10lb since my fill about 2.5 weeks ago. I really didn't even think they'd give me one, but wanted to go in, anyway, to get my weight recorded and just see if they would be so kind.

So, the NP did give me a fill. She gave me .4cc. As I was drinking my water afterward, it was not going down. So I hopped back up on the table and she took out half (.2cc) and it went down okay! I was even able to drink a protein drink about an hour later and have some mashed potatoes around 1.

However, I did PB last night. Since I'm moving, I'm trying to see all my friends as many times as possible. So, Richard is in town and we went to Roaster's (think: really nice Boston Market). I ordered the veggie (ha!) plate and got broccoli & cauliflower, mashed potatoes, and green beans. It was going okaaaaay until I took too big of a bite of broccoli. I immediately knew I was in trouble and ran to the bathroom. Up it came! After that, I just asked for a to-go box and socialized :)

Today will probably be my last post before I get to NJ. The movers are coming tomorrow to load the truck! The packers were there today. Saturday I'll be on the road to NJ, but won't arrive until Sunday. Hopefully my stuff gets there around the 9th or else it will have no place to go! I don't sign the lease until then!

Update!

I've been so busy! The move to NJ is happening next week. Last weekend I went up and found a place to live. I'm going to be paying more for my apartment up there, which is barely over 700 sq. feet than I pay for my townhouse in ATL which is close to 1500 sq ft! Insane.

So I'm pretty stressed about all this. Just trying to get all my stuff ready for the movers to pack is enough to make me want to vomit.

On the weight loss front, I'm down to 222! I haven't been this low in, I'd say, 2.5 years! However, there isn't really a drastic change in my clothes. I've gone down a size, solidly, but I would think that losing over 40lb would be 2 sizes! Not so, my friends. I'm in 16W right now. 16s are a little snug (muffin top!). So, now I just have to wash my jeans each time after I wear them b/c they stretch out and I'm constantly pulling them up by the end of the day.

I'm scheduled for another fill on Thursday (the day the movers load the truck). I don't think they are going to give me a fill, though, because I've lost 8lb in a week and a half.

Ugggggh.

Ugh. As Amy W. would say...they only gave me "a sparrow's fart" for a fill. I got .6cc so I'm at 6cc now. I can already tell it's not going to have the effect of the last fill, but I'm going to stay positive! I was able to lose 9lb between my last fill and today so I know I can keep it up, just gotta work my band.

They scheduled me for another fill on 3/4, but I don't think I'll be here anymore for that one. I'd really like to try to be, though!!!

Weight Loss & Fill

I returned from helping my family w/ my Gramma's death on Thursday. My cousin drove me back and my parents stayed until Saturday. It's sooooo hard to be on a road trip with someone who doesn't know about your Lap Band. Normally, the drive is about 8 hours, but my cousin has a 3 year old, so it was closer to 10 for us. Therefore, we had to get fast food. I've noticed the most band-friendly fast food for me is either Taco Bell or Chickfila. I don't eat it often, but when I have to, those are the places I go. So, I was really hoping for Chickfila, but no dice. Not even a Taco Bell where we pulled off. So I ate Sonic and when I say ate, I mean I grazed. It wasn't going down well, but I was okay with that. It worked.

So, I was really afraid that I would gain weight over the week because a. my Gramma ate HORRIBLY (one of the reasons she passed) and b. what was in the house was rotten so we had to rely on what people brought over (which wasn't much, btw). So, we ate out or ate what people brought over and I was dreading getting on the scale when I got back.

However, I was pleasantly surprised! Not only did I NOT gain weight, but I LOST. I lost 3lb. I've now met another goal and have now lost a total of 34lb in under 3 mo. I'm at 230!

I'm getting a fill this morning and I'm a little concerned they will be conservative with this one since I've lost so much. My argument is going to be that I'm moving and won't have a surgeon there so I need a good fill. I'm hoping for 1.6cc (that will put me at 7 cc total in my 10cc band).

Death & Gaining Weight

I'm currently out of state with my family. My Gramma died last Friday so we got here on Saturday. The funeral was yesterday and I'll be leaving to head home with one of my cousins later today.

Since being here I have eaten like crap. We have no food so we rely on what neighbors and friends bring over or eat out. Not one healthy thing!! I'm upset about gaining weight (I haven't weighed in, yet, but can feel the lbs packing on). I'm anxious to get home and get back on my eating routine. We left in such a hurry that I didn't have time to even wash clothes let alone pack food.

Oh Happy Day!!!

I woke up with a little surprise from the Weight Loss Gods for me on the scale today. I'm at 233! I blasted through my 30lb loss and this makes me feel good.

What does not make me feel good is how I lost it. I cannot describe to you the anxiety I am suffering because of this move. Being in limbo, trying to rent my house out and not give it away, not knowing when the move is going to happen or where I'll live, but knowing it is definitely happening (or so say my bosses and our CFO) has me in a constant state of anxiousness and I hate it. I can't sleep, I am moving constantly (twitching, bobbing my leg, etc.) and just can't calm down. I don't know what I need to do in order to fix this but I'll tell you this: Xanax is not working.

I still follow my Lap Band Rules: protein first, putting the fork down between bites, chewing like a mad woman, etc. I just think that I'm losing this weight extra fast because I can't sit still and I don't sleep.

So, thank you Weight Loss Gods! However, I'd really like to have just one night of restful sleep.

235!

Almost at 30lb lost! I'm so thrilled!

Food is still really tough for me. I'm not able to eat normal food or even a lot of band-friendly foods. However, I've noticed that as the day goes on, my band loosens.

I start each day with a hot cup of tea. After that, I drink my protein shake. Depending on how the shake goes down, I can tell how tight I'm going to be for the day.

I've been in training for the last day and a half. Thursday our catered lunch was Jason's Deli sandwiches, a few types of pasta salads and such, and cookies / deserts. I took two quarter sandwiches and just ate the turkey and ham off of them. That night we went to a really nice dinner and I ordered the Lobster (my absolute favorite protein on the planet). I was able to eat it! Not all of it, of course, but it went well! Yesterday we had a box lunch with sandwiches from Panera. My plan was to take the meat off like last time and just eat that. Yeah, that did not work. After sliming for about 5 min, jumping up and down, I was able to PB. Hallelujah!

Loosening Up?

I think the inflammation from my last fill is finally about to subside! Today I was able to eat mushies...kind of. At least I was able to eat teeny amounts, which I'm okay with! As long as it's fairly solid and satisfies me.

So far, I've lost 5lb since the fill. That's just b/c I've been on liquids, but I'm determined to maintain this loss until my next fill!

So, now my grand total loss since 11/13 (when I started pre-op) is 28lbs. Not too shabby.

Super Tight, Questions about Restriction, & a Quizzie! Yaaaaay!

First of all, I just want to congratulate SO MANY of you that I follow on how your weight loss has progressed over the last week! I was catching up on the last few days of blogs and SO MANY of you have posted great successes! Congratulations to you all!

As you know, I had my fill on Thursday (like I mentioned in my previous post) and I am still tight as Hell. Nothing but pure liquids for me. Not even mushies! It's misery...well, kind of. I am enjoying the weight loss, but to be honest, I just want something satisfying in my stomach! Not even to feel full, per se, but just to have something solid in there.

So, my question is, is this what restriction feels like? Not being able to eat normal food at all? Or is this still just the inflammation from my fill? Do any of you get inflammation like this after a fill? Is (true) restriction maybe just a bit better than this?

For example, my diet the last few days has consisted of nothing but watery protein drinks, creamy chicken soup in hand, more protein drinks, and today I had french onion soup broth (french onion soup w/ no cheese or bread). I'm not overly concerned that I need to get an unfill b/c I am still getting my nutrition in, but just not the calories, so I'm dropping weight pretty dang fast. Right now, I'm considering giving it another full day and if it's still like this on Tuesday, I'll call my dr.

Now it's QUIZZIE TIME!!!!!!

This seems to be viral...I love quizzes, but don't want to divulge too much about myself.
1. What time did you wake up today? about 9
2. How do you like your steak? Well, I haven't had steak since before 11/20, but I like filet mignon med-med well. I don't like my meat mooing across my plate.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Up in the Air
4. What is your favorite TV show? I have several, but most of all "Intervention." I'm obsessed with it.
5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? I'm in the process of moving to NJ, but ideally I would live my life in London. I love that city.
6. What did you have for breakfast? Uhhh, considering I can't have anything thicker than creamy thin soup, I had a protein shake.
7. What is your favorite cuisine? MEXICAN!!!!!
8. What foods do you dislike? Most veggies, pork, tofu.
9. Favorite place to eat? My favorite restaurant cheap restaurant in the world is this place here called Taqueria del Sol. My favorite FANCY restaurant is either Atlanta Fish Market or Bones.
10. Favorite dressing? HOMEMADE Buttermilk Ranch...none of that stuff in a bottle.
11. What kind of vehicle do you drive? Acura TSX
12. What are your favorite clothes? Jeans and a cute shirt.
13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? Portugal. Hawaii (I've been all over the world, but never to Hawaii!
14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? It depends on the day. Over the last few years a lot of 1/2 empty days.
15. Where would you want to retire? No clue! I'm too young to think of that stuff.
16. Favorite time of day? Evening, but not night.
17. Where were you born? The great state of Missouri
18. What is your favorite sport to watch? College football. Specifically, Auburn football.
19. Bird watcher? Nope
20. Are you a morning person or a night person? I'm an early riser
21. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? Nope. You know all big news if you follow my blog.
22. What did you want to be when you were little? A financial analyst. HILARIOUS! Can you tell I was raised by to corporate big-wigs?
23. What is your best childhood memory? any time I spent with my dad and all my swim meets
24. Are you a cat or dog person? doggies, pls.
25. Are you married? Nope
26. Always wear your seat belt? Yes, or my car gets angry
27. Been in a car accident? Yes
28. Any pet peeves? Too many to mention. You'd think I was a world class bit*h
29. Favorite Pizza Toppings? cheese, pepperoni, and mushrooms.
30. Favorite Flower? hibiscus
31. Favorite ice cream? Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Shortcake
32. Favorite fast food restaurant? Anything BUT McDonald's. I do like Krystal, though!
33. How many times did you fail your driver's test? None
34. From whom did you get your last email? I think a moving company
35. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Target.
36. Do anything spontaneous lately? Nope!
37. Broccoli? Cooked properly, yum! (agreed!) and with sour cream!
38. What was your favorite vacation? Soooo many. Backpacking through Europe by myself after college graduation, Mom's 60th birthday cruise, any week I get to spend at my parents' beach house...so many more!
39. Last person you went out to dinner with? one of my BFFs while I was in NYC...We went to Zarela!
40. What are you listening to right now? My dog snoring. So precious.
41. What is your favorite color? Green
42. How many tattoos do you have? Two.
43. Coffee drinker? More like Chai drinker.

2nd Fill

Today was my 2nd fill...HOLLA!!!! I needed it desperately. I was eating lots of junk and it would all just slide through my band. Not a good thing, my friends. Although, I have lost 3lb since my last fill. So at least it's moving in the correct direction.

So, my first fill was 3cc. Today I got 2.4cc. This equals a total of 5.4cc in my band. My next appointment is in 3 weeks. They are rushing it just a bit b/c I'm moving and they want to get me in for another fill before I get the heck out of Dodge. What good peeps.

But, seriously, I'm so sad about missing out on my free year of aftercare. I looked in to some places up there and IT IS RIDICULOUS! $300 just to get in and then another $300 for each fill. No ma'am. No ma'am. My company is going to fly me home once a quarter so I'll just have to come home a day early and get a fill at my current surgeon's office.

Anyway, I was able to drink a delicious and thin protein shake this morning.

NYC and BIG NEWS!!!

Let's start with the big news...I'm moving! My company is transferring me to New Jersey and even more crazy is that I'm supposed to be there in 6 days! While that may not happen, I will be there by the 26th, just not moved in...I don't even have an apartment, yet! I'll probably commuting weekly for a few weeks, staying in a hotel M - F. I own my house in ATL so I have to rent that out and the challenge there will be to kick my current roommate out before her lease ends.

This past weekend I went to visit one of my very good friends who lives in NYC...however, not for long. He's moving home to Birmingham at the end of February. Anyway, we had a wonderful time!!! We walked and ate and drank. I did gain a few lbs. so that's no good, but I'm sure I could have gained much more had we not walked everywhere under the sun. One of my favorite meals was at Zarela where I got the world famous Arroz con Pollo. Another favorite restaurant was the brunch at Calle Ocho. They have a complimentary sangria bar with 8 different sangrias!!!! My favorite non-meal was the delicious hot chocolate from Jacques Torres (aka Mr. Chocolate). Best hot chocolate EVER. One thing I will say about NYC (and this could just be the North, in general. IDK) is that the service is the WORST EVER. Servers do not give a rats butt if they provide you with good service. Multiple times I had to go on a hunger strike in order to get my water glass refilled.

So now it's back to reality. I have to figure out this transfer thing. And I have to eat well. My next fill is on Thursday and I'm not so sure they will be happy with my progress. Since gaining a few lbs in NYC, I'm only down about 1 lb since my last fill. Boooooo.

Who Should I Follow?

OK, so we are one big happy blogging community, but I feel like I don't follow enough bloggers. Who are some of your favorites that I should follow? I like people who not only talk about how great things are going but also acknowledge the struggles! Comment away with your favorite bloggers.

Previous Diets

What diets have you tried (and ultimately failed at) in the past? I'll list mine...it's a lot, hahaha.

-Weight Watchers (3x)
-Nutrisystem
-Jenny Craig
-Zone Diet
-Atkins
-My own diet where I worked out 2 or 3x a day and ate only 500 calories
-Phentermine (2x) medical weight loss
-Body for Life
-Cabbage Soup Diet

I'm only 27...that's twelve diets!!!! Ridonkulous, if you ask me. I don't ever want to be on one again. Fo sho.

I Posted This Little Gem Last Night...

It's about my fill, my weight loss, some awesome new foods I've found, and my dog Manolo!!!! Check it out...

First Post of the New Decade!

Happy New Year, y'all!

My fill has been super. I know its not true restriction, but I am loving it anyway! I have lost those 4 stupid pounds I gained since my lowest post-surgery weight AND another pound. Go me.

My NYE was lame-o. I was sick with a cold and had a migraine from it. So, since I was in Orlando visiting my friend, I stayed in bed while they all went out to a house party, but I didn't feel sad about it. In fact, I was perfectly happy to stay in. I got to watch the Killers concert! That's a perfect night for me.

New Years Day was the Outback Bowl!!!! It was super. We won...barely, but it was a great game!

I got back yesterday afternoon and am absolutely dreading going back to work tomorrow. I've been off since the 19th! However, today I went to TJ's and bought some delicious (and nutritious!) foods to take for lunch / snacks. One of my absolute faves is the Jell-o Mousse Temptations. Soooo good esp if you are craving chocolate and only 60 cals!

I hope you all had a pleasant New Year and I'm going to post a vlog on my YouTube channel tomorrow, I think!