Tuesday, October 27, 2009

So much to do.

So, if all the stars align, I only have 24 more days until I'm banded! Here's hoping!

I still need to get my final blood work (Nov. 3rd), set up my financing, have my surgery consultation with the surgeon, and do my pre-op diet (starts Nov. 6th, I think).

However, other than the "official" things, above, that must be done, I have many unofficial things I must do in order to prepare myself for surgery. The list:

-Stop drinking with meals
-Stop drinking flipping Diet Cokes!!!! (hard one)
-Get my ass in the gym
-Buy my protein drinks (I think I'll do that right after I hit "publish post")
-purchase my post-op essentials

I need to purchase the post-op essentials prior to surgery b/c immediately after surgery (well, the next day) my family is driving down to our beach house in Panama City, FL for a week. So, I need to have all my items prepared prior to the 6 hour drive.

So, for any post-opers what are the essentials other than the obvious (bouillon cubes, sf popsicles, sf pudding, pillow for tummy when coughing or sneezing, etc.)??? I'd love any advice you can offer.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Bad News...

Got my blood work back and it's not good. Lipids AND sugars keep going up. My doctor is concerned. So, she's putting me on meds for both. On top of that, I have to check my blood sugar each day.

I'm not diabetic. My blood sugar levels are actually about 150, but a normal person's are under 120. So I'm pre-diabetic. I'm sad and angry at myself. I knew my sugars were high, but did nothing about it and chose to ignore it. Now it threatens my surgery date.

On top of that, my mom is so incredibly UNSUPPORTIVE of this whole thing. She doesn't want me to get the procedure and never has, but she doesn't understand. She's 5'2" and 110lb. She has no idea what I've gone through my entire life. She continues to think that by diet and exercise alone, I can lose the weight. Yes, mom, I can, but history shows that I can't keep it off.

When I told her about my test results she just said, "Well, sometimes you need a baseball bat to the head. And maybe this is a sign you should postpone the surgery indefinitely." Eff that. Sorry, mom.

Another thing: I found out that my parents have told their parents about my procedure. My grandparents are the Mouths of the South. They tell everyone everything they know. I just wish they could keep this within the immediate family. It's my news, my business, and my problem...not theirs.

Ugh. Complete frustration lately! Someone throw me a bone!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

2 posts in 2 days!

I think I'm going through a "Quarter Life Crisis" or is it "Third Life Crisis" now? Yes. I think it's "Third Life Crisis."

I am not happy where I'm at in my life and it's not just because of my weight. I'm not satisfied with my career path. I don't like where it's going. I fear that if I stay in this industry I will end up angry and hating my job (which I currently do). Therefore, I want to change industries. However, in order to change industries, I would most likely have to go back to school and, being that I am self pay for my Lap-Band, it is unlikely that a bank would give me a loan to cover my tuition, books, mortgage, living expenses, etc.

So, it makes me want to sell my house! Then I wouldn't need money for a mortgage. I can rent an apartment for 1/2 of what my mortgage is. BUT the real estate market is still in the shitter and there is no sign of it getting better. Example: I bought my place in 3/08 and now, my neighbors are listing (not actually selling) their places for $25k less than what I paid. Can you say screwed?

Anyway, I don't know what to do. I was thinking of looking in to becoming an Office Manager of a nice medical practice. Serious title cut, but I think the work would be more satisfying. If the practice is nice enough I would make comparable money, I think.

I'll look into it. It's nothing pressing.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Getting Nervous

The countdown has begun...I can't believe it! I'm less than a month away from being banded (hopefully)!!!! My surgery date is November 20th. However, I'm also nervous.

I'm not nervous about the procedure or the change in lifestyle. I'm nervous that it won't happen at all. I worry that they won't be happy with my blood test results and I worry about the financing going through. Now, I can't do much about the blood test results. Que sera sera, but I have been trying to positively influence the outcome of what CareCredit will say. By the time I apply for credit (yes, I'm waiting until the last possible moment), I will have paid off two credit cards. They were never high dollar cards, but boy were they high interest! I'll only have one credit card left and it is a doozie. High debt to equity. That's the one I'm concerned about. However, I pay chunks on it each month so we'll see.

Please keep your fingers crossed for me! I wish a thousand dollars would just fall into my lap so I can pay a large chunk of that cc off. Unlikely, but I'll keep wishing!!!! :)

Also, went to my general dr today and noticed that I lost 4lb! Granted, I've gained weight since I posted my weight on here, but still. It just shows that in the last month I've been moving in the right direction.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Football and Assholes

So, it's football season and I am a college football addict. It's insane. My Saturdays are planned around which games are on and, specifically, when Auburn (my alma mater) plays.

The other weekend we played Tennessee in Knoxville and I went to the game! My BFF, who lives in Orlando, has wonderful parents who just moved to outside the Knoxville area. So, we were able to crash with them (I promise this post has a weight related point...just hang in there!) I got in Friday night and Saturday morning her parents drove us to campus because they didn't want us driving after partying all day (a legitimate concern since we had 8 solid hours of tailgating to do).

So, we won the game! It was a great win and we were 5-0! Afterward, my BFF and I were waiting in a parking lot for her parents to get there to pick us up and some redneck guys in a pickup truck drove up to the stop light by us. They looked at us and yelled, "Boooo! Auburn sucks!" So, I said, "Get over it! You lost!" and one of the guys looks at me and says "F*** you, fat bitch!" It hurt. It really hurt. I mean, I understand he had nothing else to say so he decided to degrade me based on my weight whereas I could have degraded him based on his hillbilly upbringing, but I didn't. Luckily, my 90lb BFF stood up for me, as I was speechless with tears in my eyes and she said, "GO F*** YOURSELF, ASSHOLE!!" and proceeded to give him "the finger." Love that girl.

This is one of those instances brought on by my appearance that I will never forget. There have been many in my life, but this is the most recent. And, to me, it's so sad that my NINETY POUND BFF had to stand up for me because I couldn't do it myself. On top of that, I'm so ashamed of the way I look that I couldn't even say anything.

I wanted to make sure I blogged about this because I never want to forget it. I want it to be motivation for me to change and for it to NEVER happen again. And when someone talks crap to me, I can talk crap back and my weight won't be their comeback.