Is this what progress is??

Sorry I haven't posted since going to ATL, but I really hate blogging from work and lately, that's all I've been doing!

I went to my surgeon back home to get a fill...my second since having almost everything removed. A new NP was in and once I told her the whole history of my band, she decided to see how much was actually in there. If every fill / unfill was done correctly in the past, she would have pulled out 4.9cc. She pulled out around 6! I ended up leaving the office with 6.25...I think.

I'm curious how I ended up with an extra cc! I think it was in there prior to my big unfill and that's one of the reasons I was so tight back in May / June and had to suck on ice chips just to stay hydrated!

Anyway, I'm liking this fill. I'm eating less and eating less often. Here's an example of my lunch yesterday:

Before I started eating (2 grapes are missing, I ate those before taking the picture):


And here is the after picture taken after I was full:


I ended up eating the raspberries about 3 hours later as a snack and drank 1/4 of a protein drink on my 2 hour drive home.

Exercise is still an issue. I did walk / run over 3 miles Monday night. It took me 45 minutes. I think that's pretty good for never running! I plan to do it again tonight. I motivate myself to do it because my poor dog is crated for 11 hours a day so I know she needs to get out and run or speed-walk in her case. I don't run fast enough to keep up with her so she trots while I try and run :)

I'm going to update my ticker this afternoon and show how much I've gained. It's not pretty. When I weighed in at my surgeon's I was up 31lb from end of June. Luckily, I've dropped about 4 of those in a week and a half.

Keep moving forward!

Traveling Woes

One of the difficult things about working out of town during the week is traveling and trying to cater my diet to my on-the-road lifestyle.

I try and buy a few groceries to keep at the hotel and snacks to bring to work with me. I typically eat oatmeal & a 4oz greek yogurt for breakfast. For lunch, I eat out a lot, but try and make it healthy since I need a fill and can eat normal portions right now. I bring snacks like almonds, luna bars, things like that. Dinner? I usually eat out again. My hotel does have a range and a microwave, but very limited on utensils and pots & pans. I was able to make pan seared scallops last week, but it's very hard. If I do cook, I bring left overs for lunch.

I'm also working long hours at this client. Back in NJ, when I got home from work, I'd go straight to the gym after letting my dog out. Here, I'm 1. exhausted 2. starving and 3. hate the gym (if you can even call it that) at my hotel. Last week I did pilates in my room using videos online, but really that was it.

Hopefully, I'll be back in NJ full-time in a month. This schedule is not conducive to my lifestyle!!!!!

Executive Decision

I've made an executive decision. Even though I only have 3 hours of vacation left FOR THE YEAR I'm going to take a day off and fly back to ATL to get another fill. I know, it's only been 3 weeks since my last one, but I'm not planning to fly back until mid to late October.

I'm planning this because 1. I'm not staying full. I've done the 4oz / 4 hour protein test and failed miserably. 2. My free year of aftercare expires 11/20. I think late October is a great time and I'll just get a little fill and when I'm home for Christmas (if I need it), I'll get another fill and, hopefully, that will hold me for a while.

Last night I made scallops for dinner. Scallops are not only band friendly (I can eat them when I'm super tight), but are soooo good for you! I sauteed fresh scallops from the seafood counter and made a special asian inspired sauce and it turned out amazing. I felt all chef-like!

I also did pilates in my hotel room using online videos from sparkpeople.com. I can definitely feel my abs today!

We take the good with the bad

I mentioned I had an unfill on the 28th.

The good:
-I'm able to eat things I haven't eaten since before getting the band.
-I'm eating solid protein, veggies, and drinking tons of water with ease!
-Reflux has subsided

The bad:
-I have ZERO restriction. My band is so open that food goes through like it did before I got it.
-I've gained weight...Oh yes, I have. I'm not going to say how much, because it's quite embarrassing to have gained this amount in 11 days. My goal is to get it off in the next 28 days, though.
-Because I can eat, I've been eating things I SHOULDN'T. Examples: pizza, pancakes, cereal (total trigger food), Nachos Bell Grande (total weakness), Cheetos etc.

I have to get this under control. I'm considering signing up for a month of Weight Watchers just so I can monitor points.

I'm completely aware that I've been eating things I shouldn't and that I should be using this month to learn to eat nutritious foods that I couldn't two weeks ago. I'd like to think that I'm just getting this out of my system, but I know better than that. It's just an excuse and I'm tired of making excuses. Excuses are what got me to where I was and why I needed the band. This last week and a half shows me why I needed the band and shows me that I still have issues with food.

Hating Life...

Ugh. I do not want to be back. Do you have any idea how amazing it was to not think about work for 18 days?!? Or to be out of NJ for 16 days?!? It was bliss...

Vacation was super. It was fabulous. It was just what I needed. I've got a nice little tan going, too!

After I had the 2cc taken out 8 days ago, I fell off the wagon and have gained a few lbs. I was so excited to be able to eat and boy can I!! I only have the slightest bit of restriction now. I'm not eating as much as I was pre-op, but I'm eating more than I have since post-op. So, back on the wagon I go.

I'm going to give myself a personal challenge: 7 hours of exercise per week until I go on my cruise (30 days!). It's going to be tough, but I need something to keep me accountable.

After the cruise (the day we dock), I'm going back to my surgeon in ATL and we are going to discuss adding some of the 2cc back in. I'm fully prepared to get 1cc max put in. I don't think they will be as aggressive with fills from here on out, which I'm completely okay with.

Prior to my fiascos of the last few months, I was aiming for speed when it came to weight loss. Now, I want it to be as painless as possible...I'm speaking both figuratively and literally.

Today, I have eaten (so far):

-Reduced Sugar Oatmeal packet
-Cup of Mandarin Oranges
-Ham & Swiss on low carb tortilla
-Baby Carrots & 1/4 c hummus
-Mini York Patty

New Food Ideas, Hair Loss, & GERD

I attempted to eat part of a burrito bowl from Chipotle today. Yeah, the 7/8ths that I didn't eat is still sitting right here next to me. Good news: I didn't PB and I was able to get some really quality bites of chicken. Bad news: Like I mentioned a sec ago, I barely ate 1/8th of it. $8.00 down the tube!

So, it got me thinking about food and how, lately, I've been eating slider foods b/c I'm terrified of PBing (which I often do). I was reading Lap Band Gal's blog and she listed a recipe for a pretty darn healthy custard (mmmm) and mentioned a website, Bariatric Eating, which has lots of great recipes! Now, realize that this website is geared more to the bypassers so you really need to do the nutritionals on the recipes (since they don't worry as much about fat), but a lot of the recipes are really great! What a wonderful resource!

What food can you eat that you don't have to worry about getting stuck / PBing that are nutritious? I'm thinking I'll make (not all at one time, mind you) some mashed "potatoes" aka cauliflower, a lean meat loaf (or maybe I'll make my dad make one when I'm home in two and a half weeks), rotisserie chicken, def. the custard, etc. What are veggies you can eat?

Also, I'm losing my hair. Bad. Clumps of it every time I touch my head and I really don't have a lot of hair to begin with. I know it means I'm protein deficient (hello! slider foods!) so I'm working on that, but meat really scares me for the PB factor.

Also, I've had the dreaded GERD ever since I was so tight this last time. I wake up in the middle of the night with a mouth full of acid and have to run to the sink to spit it out. It's disgusting. I started taking some Prilosec, but it's really not helping. I know I need to not eat or drink anything a few hours before bed, but this is when my band is loose(r) for the day and I can get in the liquids and calories I didn't earlier in the day.

Ugh. The price we pay.

How I got to be fat...part 2.

Amy posted a blog about the eating habits that got her to her highest weight and posed the same question to her readers.  Here is my answer(s).

-I have been a binge eater all of my life.  I would eat and eat and eat until I felt like I would puke.  When the vomitatious feeling let up just a bit, I'd stuff my face even more.  I would make special trips to the grocery store just to get binge food: ice cream, pizza, cookies, candy / chocolate, and pre made foods.

-I ate in secret.  I have been a secret eater since about the age of 7 when I would come home from school and eat a whole box of cereal.  I'd then put the box back in the pantry so it looked like there was still cereal in there.  There wasn't.  I would also blame a lot of the secret eating on my dad.  If my mom asked if I had eaten all of the chocolate chips I'd give her a confused look and she'd say "Dad must have done it."  I wouldn't deny it.

-I would pack snacks for trips.  If I knew I was going to be around my mom on a vacation or trip to grandma's and she would scrutinize everything I ate, I'd pack a box of those delicious yet super fattening chocolate chip granola bars to eat when no one was around.  I'd also pack them if I were going somewhere with my thin friends who never got hungry.

-Fast food.  I <3'd value meals.  I would eat them for lunch, for snacks, for dinner, after a night of heavy drinking, etc.  Fast food is going to be a hard thing for me to give up.

-Eating super fast.  When I was actually hungry and I finally got food, I would eat so fast that I never gave my body time to register it was full.  This will be a challenge to stop, as well.

-Buying bags of chocolate and just sitting in front of the TV and eating it all.

-I hated (and still do hate) 95% of all vegetables.  My homecooked meals consisted of protein and starch / carb.  No veggies.

-Sauces.  I <3 condiments!  Buttermilk ranch, honey mustard, ketchup, tartar sauce, anything I can dip my food in, really.

So, those are my eating habits that lead me to get surgery.  It's funny that as I type these out, I see those that are still going to be a problem for me and those that I don't have to worry about so much anymore.

Holla.

Weekends are soooo hard for me in terms of eating correctly. I totally flubbed yesterday (and kind of this morning).

Yesterday I woke up craving carbs. Like, I would kill someone if I did not get something flour-based in my stomach immediately. I know myself and if I don't give in to the craving, I'm going to screw up even worse for the rest of the day. So, I went to McD's and got hot cakes. Felt much better.

I did better the rest of the day, except for last night. I had an oven pizza. Not all of it, not even half of it, but I did eat all of the cheese and pepperoni off of it. I was watching my favorite college football game of the year and was really craving pizza (we didn't win, btw, but came soooooo close). I can tell my stomach is shrinking already. Normally, I can eat a whole oven pizza no problem. Last night, I definitely could not and I really wasn't into the dough and crust. Anyway, so I effed up.

I know cheating is bad and, if done too horribly I run the risk of not being banded, but I'm not concerned about one day. Especially since many people don't have a pre-op at all and many do cheat just a smidge. I'm back on track today! Ready to finish strong and get my band. I can't believe it's just 5 short days away.

This morning I met my family at Waffle House for breakfast to say goodbye to my sister, niece, and my sister's fiance until Christmas. Everyone had HUGE portions and massive amounts of food. Not me! I had 2 eggs over medium and two sausage patties. It was PERFECT.

This week I'm looking forward to getting all my stuff together for being at the beach for 10 days, going to the gym to burn some extra fat, and maybe, just maybe an interview! Please keep your fingers crossed for me!

<3

Pre-Op Diet Day 5

I have been on the pre-op diet for 5 days and have lost 5lb already!

I've been hating the pre-op, but stepping on the scale and seeing results makes it all worth while. I crave carbs. I do.

Last night, however, I decided to stop by TJ's (Trader Joe's) and pick up delicious high-protein foods. I bought shrimp, salmon, Dr. Praeger's veggie burgers, and lean buffalo burgers. I'm hoping that maybe I just need some variety in my life!

Last night I had some of the shrimp. I prefer fresh, caught that day shrimp, but these will do in a pinch. Not too bad. Today, for lunch, I'm going to have a Dr. Praeger's Tex Mex burger...mmmmmmm. Can't wait!