Monday, April 19, 2010

Do you ever...

Do you ever have days where you just don't feel like eating? You are hungry, but you really don't want to go through the hassle of finding something band-friendly to eat? Or maybe eating just isn't fun like it used to be?

That's how I feel. I guess it's good that eating isn't fun like it used to be b/c that's one of the reasons why I got so fat. Eating should be for sustenance, not enjoyment...or at least that's what super healthy people always say. I don't know about you, but sometimes I really miss eating like I used to.

Perfect example: I hail from the land of Chick-fil-a. Greatest fast food restaurant. EVER. Now that I'm up north, Chick-fil-as are hard to come by. So, I found one about 45 min. away and for the last two weeks I've been planning to make a trek for the delicious nuggets w/ Polynesian sauce. So, I went on Saturday. I ordered the 12 nugget pack (bc I wanted left overs, holla!) and an iced tea. As I was walking to my table, my mouth was watering, my heart started racing, and I started anticipating how delicious these hot nuggets would be! I took a bite the size of a 1/3 of a nugget. I chewed and chewed and chewed and swallowed. Stuck. That day, I was able to eat 2 nuggets. I would have given almost anything to chew away at those delicious morsels and not feel my band. One of the few times I've felt that way.

But today, I just don't feel like eating at all! I don't want to deal with feeling my band when I eat. I made a great crustless quiche last night with broccoli, mushrooms, and cheese, but I just don't feel like eating it for lunch today...or any other food really. My tummy says "lets eat!" but my head says "why bother?" I know I have to eat, but meals are just much more of an ordeal than they used to be.

You see, my band is very temperamental. There aren't a lot of things I can eat that go down smoothly. I eat slightly on the side of mushies on a normal basis. I read what many of my fellow bloggers eat and I constantly think: no way could my band handle that!

I guess even though I will be 5 months post-op tomorrow, I'm still getting used to changing my mental thinking when it comes to eating. I have this notion that I can eat anything I want, just in smaller portions. Not so. I need to come to realize that there are some things I may never eat again.


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