Hydrated & Ready to Rock!

So, I'm fully rehydrated since my issue last week. I gained back 3lb, but the dr. said he thought the scale would move up since I had so little fluid in me.

I made some turkey chili over the weekend and I think it would be wonderful, but I put too many crushed red pepper flakes in it! Spi-cy!

I have also found the most delicious mashed potatoes you can buy. Side note: I still have to eat very mushy foods at lunch. Popeye's Chicken! The gravy has bits of meat in it and it has a little kick to it. I highly recommend.

Did anyone catch the "Overweight in America" show that aired on CNBC last Monday? I thought it was excellent! It's a great look at the disease and what we need to do to reverse it.

So, I've had a delayed celebration of making it to Onederland. I didn't want to celebrate when it first showed on my scale bc I didn't know if it was real or not. Well, it's real. I've hit it and I'm so happy. It's amazing how one little number can really work you over psychologically. I love seeing that "1". I still have around 45lb. to go to my ULTIMATE goal and 35lb. to my original goal.

I changed my goal recently b/c I noticed that at under 200 I couldn't see myself the way I'd like to be at 165. I felt like at 155 I would be happier AND it's well into my "normal" range for BMI. 165 was at the very high end. I don't want to be close to being overweight anymore!

What Would You Do?...

I need some advice, pls.

I have a male coworker who drives me insane. He's one of those people who jokes around all the time and thinks that everyone else likes to joke, too. A few other things he does that drives me nuts: 1. asks me a question, but never listens to the answer and asks that same question a few hours later 2. CONSTANTLY interrupts me (and anyone else) mid-conversation and doesn't just interrupt, realize he did it, and stop. No, no, he continues to interrupt as in he talks over me until I stop talking and 3. This is the big one. He constantly makes fun of the foods I eat.

3. is the big pisser for me. How do I handle this? How do I get him to stop? I've been bitchy and I've ignored him. Neither work. I pretty much went off on him yesterday calling him an idiot and told him to stop talking to me. He's still mad which is fine with me, but it's not realistic in a work environment where we have to constantly communicate.

Thoughts? Ideas? Anything??

NSV!! Clothes for the Sisterhood???

Great news! I'm officially a size 14!

I'd noticed a few pair of my work pants were getting big, but I've been so "out of it" since Friday that I didn't pay too much attention.

This a.m. I got dressed and felt like I was wearing MC Hammer pants! Soooo, I tried on a couple other pair...HAMMER PANTS! So I went shopping in my closet (b/c you know I keep smaller sizes from my skinnier days) and voila! The 14s fit!

So long, 16s!

Anyone interested in Ann Taylor slacks or an Ann Taylor suit? Size 16. Let me know if interested and I'll take some pictures!

Adjustment update...and letting the cat out of the bag!

One of the direct results of being overfilled for the last week was me going home early on Friday. Since I have moved up to NJ I've missed quite a few days of work due to "having a stomach virus."

I decided yesterday that I would tell my two supervisors what has truly been wrong with me. These are 2 guys. One is a mid 60's retired Colonel from the Army. The other is a guy about 10 years older than me. They both took the news really well and were happy I told them what the root of my "sickness" was because, apparently, they were beginning to get concerned for my health. So, not so bad telling them! However, I'm still not willing to tell people outside of my "circle of trust" about my band.

This morning I had the adjustment to remove fluid. Luckily, it only cost the flat $200 instead of $550. The surgeon didn't do it under floroscopy, he just did it in one of the patient rooms. Why can't they always do this???? I don't understand practices that refuse to do non-floroscopy fills!

Anyway, he took out .3 cc so now I'm at 5.9 cc. He almost only took out .2 cc, but I asked him to take out another .1 just to be safe.

I'm so happy to be drinking fluids and re-hydrating myself. This morning I weighed in at 197...that's 10lb down from exactly one week ago. I realize that some of that is from being dehydrated. So, I'm anxious to see what the scale does within the next few days.

I spoke too soon.

Getting an unfill tomorrow. SO FRUSTRATING!!!! But it has to be done.

I had the fill last Tuesday and he put in the .2 cc that he removed 2 months before (that puts me at 6.2 cc in a 10 cc band). The thing is, I think he should have only put in .1 cc because when he did it under floroscopy, only a little trickle of barium was going through. It looked too tight on the film, but he's the doctor / surgeon and I would hope he'd know what to look for. Obviously not.

I felt okay Tuesday - Thursday (was tight, but thought it was like how I am with every other adjustment...sensitive), but on Friday I was in Hell. I started having reflux in the night. I would sleep for 15 min then would wake up hacking and coughing with a mouth full of acid. Horrible. I can barely get any liquids down. The only way I get any liquid in is by sucking on ice chips. Hello, it's been SIX DAYS since my adjustment!!! I'm miserable, pure miserable.

So now I have to pay an additional $400 to fix this doctor's mistake. I am SO not made of money and this cannot become a habit.

I hate my employer for not electing bariatric coverage, I hate being self pay, I hate not being in ATL where MY DOCTOR is and where my adjustments are free.

I'm so frustrated. Really trying not to flip out on someone.

Fills: A Catch 22

Fills are wonderful things, yet nightmares for me.

I'm one of those people who is extra sensitive to fills. Instead of being on 24 or 48 hrs of liquids post-fill, I'm on liquids for about a full week. Then, I sloooowly start adding in mushies. It's like going through the surgery all over again. It stinks because around day 3 I just want something solid in my tummy, but it's wonderful b/c this is the stage where I lose a ton of weight.

For example: it's been around 48 hours since my fill and I have already dropped 4.5 lb. I'm now no longer considered obese! I'm just 2.5 lb away from Onederland, as well! One might think that I'll gain some of this weight back when I start eating mushies & solids, but that's not so, my friends! It hasn't happened yet and I'm not about to start.

Tonight I'm going out with some girls and we're going to learn how to do the Hustle (Queue the music...). Fun times!

Biting the Bullet

Hello lovelies!!!

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mom's and Future Mom's!

I hope you all have had a nice weekend! My butt has been planted on my couch and in my bed, except for a haircut and a shopping trip to Old Navy yesterday :) This is just the kind of weekend I like! Although, I do miss being with my Mom on Mother's Day, a little sad about that.

It has come to my attention (well, I've known it for weeks) that I need a fill. Remember, that since I moved from ATL (where I had surgery 5.5 mo. ago) I now have to pay RIDICULOUS amounts to get fills (as in $600 for each one). I have several options: 1. wait until I go back to ATL in mid June and get a free fill or 2. pay $600 and get one in NJ and schedule a free one when I go back to ATL in early August. When I say free, I mean that it's included in my one year of aftercare. So, that will be over on 11/20/10.

I have chosen option #2 and let me tell you why. Up here, fills are done under fluoroscopy so I feel like it will be a little more accurate. Also, if you look to the right, I have a goal of hitting 200 by Memorial Day. I am 6lb. away and cannot break this plateau! I've been here for about 6 weeks! And finally, if I get this fill now, it will be about 3 mo. when I go back to ATL and, in my head, I'm thinking I'll need a fill now.

I'm just ready to get back on the losing train again. I'm enjoying losing weight and seeing my body change, but this is not where I want to stay. I still have 41 lb. until goal so this journey is not over by a long shot.

So, I scheduled for a fill on Tuesday! Let's hope this jump starts me!

*squish*

Stardustic posted this really great blog about what your fat feels like. I'm soooo squishy right now. It's gross. I can squish the skin on my forearm and my hips?? Don't even get me started.

I just feel so soft right now. It's kind of grossing me out. Even ~60lb heavier I was more firm than this. It's not loose skin, either. It's soft fat.

I'm working out and lifting weights in hopes of firming this up. I realize that some of it may end up being loose skin, but hopefully not as much as right now.

Anyone else squishy now or at one point?

Do you ever...

Do you ever have days where you just don't feel like eating? You are hungry, but you really don't want to go through the hassle of finding something band-friendly to eat? Or maybe eating just isn't fun like it used to be?

That's how I feel. I guess it's good that eating isn't fun like it used to be b/c that's one of the reasons why I got so fat. Eating should be for sustenance, not enjoyment...or at least that's what super healthy people always say. I don't know about you, but sometimes I really miss eating like I used to.

Perfect example: I hail from the land of Chick-fil-a. Greatest fast food restaurant. EVER. Now that I'm up north, Chick-fil-as are hard to come by. So, I found one about 45 min. away and for the last two weeks I've been planning to make a trek for the delicious nuggets w/ Polynesian sauce. So, I went on Saturday. I ordered the 12 nugget pack (bc I wanted left overs, holla!) and an iced tea. As I was walking to my table, my mouth was watering, my heart started racing, and I started anticipating how delicious these hot nuggets would be! I took a bite the size of a 1/3 of a nugget. I chewed and chewed and chewed and swallowed. Stuck. That day, I was able to eat 2 nuggets. I would have given almost anything to chew away at those delicious morsels and not feel my band. One of the few times I've felt that way.

But today, I just don't feel like eating at all! I don't want to deal with feeling my band when I eat. I made a great crustless quiche last night with broccoli, mushrooms, and cheese, but I just don't feel like eating it for lunch today...or any other food really. My tummy says "lets eat!" but my head says "why bother?" I know I have to eat, but meals are just much more of an ordeal than they used to be.

You see, my band is very temperamental. There aren't a lot of things I can eat that go down smoothly. I eat slightly on the side of mushies on a normal basis. I read what many of my fellow bloggers eat and I constantly think: no way could my band handle that!

I guess even though I will be 5 months post-op tomorrow, I'm still getting used to changing my mental thinking when it comes to eating. I have this notion that I can eat anything I want, just in smaller portions. Not so. I need to come to realize that there are some things I may never eat again.

Updates, updates, updates!

Everything has been going well since my last update. I think I may have passed my plateau as I’m now at 206! 3lb. away from no longer being “obese” and 6lb. away from Onederland! I know that Onederland is not that big of a deal for many of you shorter people, but it’s huge to me. I’m 5’9” so I start looking pretty darn good once I make it to the 100s.

My parents came up to visit me last weekend and we had the best time. I haven’t been homesick since I got here, but if there ever was a time, I was pretty close to it when I dropped them off at the airport last Sunday. I definitely miss Atlanta, but know in my heart of hearts that I’ll go back one day (I just don’t know when that is).

I need a fill and have needed one for some time now. However, since I’m self pay, I really don’t want to spend $700 to get it done up here. Sooooo, I have to wait until June 28th to get it done at my surgeon’s office in ATL. That’s quite a while to wait, my friends! Luckily, I joined a gym last month and signed up for a Team Fitness class. It’s 3 months long and you go 3 days a week. It’s a pure fat burning workout. I also try to go to the gym to do weights another 1-2 times a week. This period until I get another fill is going to be very similar to Bandster Hell, but I am DETERMINED to make my goal of hitting Onederland before Memorial Day!

It’s so interesting to see my body changing. This morning, I was flexing in the mirror and admiring my once hidden muscles. They are lookin’ good! I know I’ve for sure lost muscle mass these last 2 years of inactivity and weight gain. Usually, when I’m at this weight, I’m in tight 14s. Now, I’m in loose 16s, but not at all in 14s. I’m in between and it stinks! I hate my clothes looking so baggy, but would never ever wear clothes that make my legs look like stuffed sausages, you know?

On the semi non-band related front, 3 friends and I booked a cruise for early August! It’s just a 4 nighter, but I’m seriously hoping to be lookin’ hot by then. All 4 of us are going to be crammed in the same cabin. How hilarious will that be! The things we go through to save a few bucks…

Problems!!

I’m having serious problems when it comes to restriction…it’s gone. I haven’t lost a pound in 3 weeks! In fact, I’ve PUT ON 1.5lb. No good, let me tell you. I flirted with my sweet spot, but that’s all it was…flirtation.

I can now chug water (no good), eat cookies (no good), and am hungry at 8am (NO GOOD!). I’m not stupid or naïve. I know what my problems are now I just need to fix them.:

-Cadburry Eggs - I’ve probably eaten a good 20 this Easter. Since Easter is over, this is no longer a problem.

-Candy – specifically chocolate. This became a problem when the Cadburrys became a problem. Oh! And I found that if I was hungry and was too tight (b/c of a fill), I’d eat a chocolate bar and would let the pieces melt in my mouth.

-Tartar Sauce – I eat fish and when I eat fish, I eat Tartar Sauce. I am not going to buy anymore b/c the fat content is just way too high.

-String Cheese – I had been buying the non-low fat version b/c I was having a hard time getting fat and calories. This is no longer a problem. If I must eat string cheese, it’s going to be low-fat from now on.

So, now that restriction (aka sweet spot or green zone) is gone, I have to change a few nasty habits and increase the exercise. I’ve started with the exercise, now just to change those eating habits and I’ll be good, I hope!

In non-band related issues, I am so frustrated about work. I cannot stand the PMO of my current project. He’s not only a jerk to me, but has no filter when it comes to speaking to our client. He flipped out on me today and when that happens, I don’t react so well. If someone starts yelling at me, I yell right back. I can’t help it!

God, grant me patience PLEASE!!!

Sweet Spot = Achieved!

I'm at my sweet spot. Fo' sho'. I can eat, but not a lot...very small amounts. My struggle is eating the right foods. I don't eat a lot of vegetables and I really don't eat much meat. Meat is really difficult for me. I get my protein in mostly through protein drinks and dairy.

I joined a gym this week. It costs $90/mo (RIDICULOUS), but is pretty much worth it. They have over 100 treadmills along with hundreds of other cardio machines, every weight machine you can imagine, 2 indoor pools, an outdoor pool, 3 studios for classes, a gymnasium, rock climbing wall, cafe, spa, and salon! It's amazing.

NJ is not so bad so far. I do miss home, but I'm not as homesick as I thought I would be. My parents are coming up in 2 weeks and I'm really excited about that. I'll be so happy to see them.

Goals for this week are to eat more solid protein, eat vegetables, and work out at least 4x.

eeeeexcellent.

I am now 12lb away from ONEDERLAND and am 10lb away from no longer being obese! Also, 12lb away from my May 31st goal!

I got an unfill last Friday and they took out what was put in back in ATL (.2cc). The effing thing cost me $650 which is ridiculous, but at least I can eat now and I'm still losing weight.

Today is my birthday, as well, so this is all good news and a wonderful present to myself! I haven't weighed this for 2.5 - 3 years, I think.

Yay!

Not doing well...Violent Vomiting & ER Visit

I arrived in NJ for good yesterday. It took me two days to drive it, but I'm up here! The movers won't get here until Wednesday; at least that's the plan right now. So, for now, Manolo & I are shacked up in a Residence Inn.

This morning, I decided to get some eggs from the buffet and take them in a container to work and eat them when I got hungry. So, around 9 I ate some...maybe 2 or 3 bites?...and I was immediately stuck. This was no normal stuck...I was PBing over and over. It got to the point where I couldn't even swallow my saliva.

Now, you might be saying to yourself, "Cody, why didn't you just go to your surgeon and get fluid taken out??" Well, my friends, my surgeon is in ATL and I'm now in NJ. A few weeks ago, I found a Lap-Band Office up here who would do my fills and unfills and I called them today when this issue was happening. They said the NP couldn't see me until I had seen a surgeon and Mondays are surgery days for surgeons. GRRRR! This was not a good situation. I was running to the bathroom every 5 min (I'm sure everyone at my client now thinks I'm pregnant, thank you). So, I made the executive decision to go to the ER.

The ER sucks here. I've never seen a room full of so many sickly people. I got to the point where they took my bp and temp and all that and had to go out in the waiting room before being admitted. Well, before I could even get admitted, I started puking SO HARD and so repetitively that food that was in my stomach (had already passed through the band) was coming up along with the burning, nasty bile. However, after that, I felt like a million bucks compared to before! So, I got out of the ER and came back to the hotel.

I was finally able to speak to the NP at the new surgeon's office and the earliest they can get me in is on Friday. I am fo' sho' getting fluid taken out. Until then, pure liquids.

I'm affraid I may have slipped my band, though. Can one violent episode like this flip it? I sure hope not. I've never had a fill done under floro, but I'm actually hoping they do the unfill under floro on Friday just to calm my fears!

Anyone else ever puked over and over so violently??? I'm slightly scared...

4th Fill

Today I had my fourth fill. Prior to today, I was at 6cc in a 10cc band. I wasn't sure I should even get a fill. I've lost 10lb since my fill about 2.5 weeks ago. I really didn't even think they'd give me one, but wanted to go in, anyway, to get my weight recorded and just see if they would be so kind.

So, the NP did give me a fill. She gave me .4cc. As I was drinking my water afterward, it was not going down. So I hopped back up on the table and she took out half (.2cc) and it went down okay! I was even able to drink a protein drink about an hour later and have some mashed potatoes around 1.

However, I did PB last night. Since I'm moving, I'm trying to see all my friends as many times as possible. So, Richard is in town and we went to Roaster's (think: really nice Boston Market). I ordered the veggie (ha!) plate and got broccoli & cauliflower, mashed potatoes, and green beans. It was going okaaaaay until I took too big of a bite of broccoli. I immediately knew I was in trouble and ran to the bathroom. Up it came! After that, I just asked for a to-go box and socialized :)

Today will probably be my last post before I get to NJ. The movers are coming tomorrow to load the truck! The packers were there today. Saturday I'll be on the road to NJ, but won't arrive until Sunday. Hopefully my stuff gets there around the 9th or else it will have no place to go! I don't sign the lease until then!

Update!

I've been so busy! The move to NJ is happening next week. Last weekend I went up and found a place to live. I'm going to be paying more for my apartment up there, which is barely over 700 sq. feet than I pay for my townhouse in ATL which is close to 1500 sq ft! Insane.

So I'm pretty stressed about all this. Just trying to get all my stuff ready for the movers to pack is enough to make me want to vomit.

On the weight loss front, I'm down to 222! I haven't been this low in, I'd say, 2.5 years! However, there isn't really a drastic change in my clothes. I've gone down a size, solidly, but I would think that losing over 40lb would be 2 sizes! Not so, my friends. I'm in 16W right now. 16s are a little snug (muffin top!). So, now I just have to wash my jeans each time after I wear them b/c they stretch out and I'm constantly pulling them up by the end of the day.

I'm scheduled for another fill on Thursday (the day the movers load the truck). I don't think they are going to give me a fill, though, because I've lost 8lb in a week and a half.

Ugggggh.

Ugh. As Amy W. would say...they only gave me "a sparrow's fart" for a fill. I got .6cc so I'm at 6cc now. I can already tell it's not going to have the effect of the last fill, but I'm going to stay positive! I was able to lose 9lb between my last fill and today so I know I can keep it up, just gotta work my band.

They scheduled me for another fill on 3/4, but I don't think I'll be here anymore for that one. I'd really like to try to be, though!!!

Weight Loss & Fill

I returned from helping my family w/ my Gramma's death on Thursday. My cousin drove me back and my parents stayed until Saturday. It's sooooo hard to be on a road trip with someone who doesn't know about your Lap Band. Normally, the drive is about 8 hours, but my cousin has a 3 year old, so it was closer to 10 for us. Therefore, we had to get fast food. I've noticed the most band-friendly fast food for me is either Taco Bell or Chickfila. I don't eat it often, but when I have to, those are the places I go. So, I was really hoping for Chickfila, but no dice. Not even a Taco Bell where we pulled off. So I ate Sonic and when I say ate, I mean I grazed. It wasn't going down well, but I was okay with that. It worked.

So, I was really afraid that I would gain weight over the week because a. my Gramma ate HORRIBLY (one of the reasons she passed) and b. what was in the house was rotten so we had to rely on what people brought over (which wasn't much, btw). So, we ate out or ate what people brought over and I was dreading getting on the scale when I got back.

However, I was pleasantly surprised! Not only did I NOT gain weight, but I LOST. I lost 3lb. I've now met another goal and have now lost a total of 34lb in under 3 mo. I'm at 230!

I'm getting a fill this morning and I'm a little concerned they will be conservative with this one since I've lost so much. My argument is going to be that I'm moving and won't have a surgeon there so I need a good fill. I'm hoping for 1.6cc (that will put me at 7 cc total in my 10cc band).

Death & Gaining Weight

I'm currently out of state with my family. My Gramma died last Friday so we got here on Saturday. The funeral was yesterday and I'll be leaving to head home with one of my cousins later today.

Since being here I have eaten like crap. We have no food so we rely on what neighbors and friends bring over or eat out. Not one healthy thing!! I'm upset about gaining weight (I haven't weighed in, yet, but can feel the lbs packing on). I'm anxious to get home and get back on my eating routine. We left in such a hurry that I didn't have time to even wash clothes let alone pack food.

Oh Happy Day!!!

I woke up with a little surprise from the Weight Loss Gods for me on the scale today. I'm at 233! I blasted through my 30lb loss and this makes me feel good.

What does not make me feel good is how I lost it. I cannot describe to you the anxiety I am suffering because of this move. Being in limbo, trying to rent my house out and not give it away, not knowing when the move is going to happen or where I'll live, but knowing it is definitely happening (or so say my bosses and our CFO) has me in a constant state of anxiousness and I hate it. I can't sleep, I am moving constantly (twitching, bobbing my leg, etc.) and just can't calm down. I don't know what I need to do in order to fix this but I'll tell you this: Xanax is not working.

I still follow my Lap Band Rules: protein first, putting the fork down between bites, chewing like a mad woman, etc. I just think that I'm losing this weight extra fast because I can't sit still and I don't sleep.

So, thank you Weight Loss Gods! However, I'd really like to have just one night of restful sleep.