How I got to be fat...part 2.

Amy posted a blog about the eating habits that got her to her highest weight and posed the same question to her readers.  Here is my answer(s).

-I have been a binge eater all of my life.  I would eat and eat and eat until I felt like I would puke.  When the vomitatious feeling let up just a bit, I'd stuff my face even more.  I would make special trips to the grocery store just to get binge food: ice cream, pizza, cookies, candy / chocolate, and pre made foods.

-I ate in secret.  I have been a secret eater since about the age of 7 when I would come home from school and eat a whole box of cereal.  I'd then put the box back in the pantry so it looked like there was still cereal in there.  There wasn't.  I would also blame a lot of the secret eating on my dad.  If my mom asked if I had eaten all of the chocolate chips I'd give her a confused look and she'd say "Dad must have done it."  I wouldn't deny it.

-I would pack snacks for trips.  If I knew I was going to be around my mom on a vacation or trip to grandma's and she would scrutinize everything I ate, I'd pack a box of those delicious yet super fattening chocolate chip granola bars to eat when no one was around.  I'd also pack them if I were going somewhere with my thin friends who never got hungry.

-Fast food.  I <3'd value meals.  I would eat them for lunch, for snacks, for dinner, after a night of heavy drinking, etc.  Fast food is going to be a hard thing for me to give up.

-Eating super fast.  When I was actually hungry and I finally got food, I would eat so fast that I never gave my body time to register it was full.  This will be a challenge to stop, as well.

-Buying bags of chocolate and just sitting in front of the TV and eating it all.

-I hated (and still do hate) 95% of all vegetables.  My homecooked meals consisted of protein and starch / carb.  No veggies.

-Sauces.  I <3 condiments!  Buttermilk ranch, honey mustard, ketchup, tartar sauce, anything I can dip my food in, really.

So, those are my eating habits that lead me to get surgery.  It's funny that as I type these out, I see those that are still going to be a problem for me and those that I don't have to worry about so much anymore.

Shame.

Ever since I've pushed beyond 230lb I have become a shut-in. I run essential errands and go to work, but really do anything else. I don't go shopping, to movies, out to eat with friends, to parties, or to bars anymore.

I used to be WILD. I'd go out several times during the week, stay out until 2 or 4am and then get up and go to work. However, ever since my weight has ballooned, I have no desire. So these last few years have been awful for me! I don't know that I will ever be as wild as I once was (I chalk it up to being in my early 20s), but it would be really nice to be able to go out and not be so self-conscious.

I don't like people looking at me in this state. I don't like seeing thin people having a good time b/c it just reminds me of how I got to this point. I look forward to finally being banded and being on my way to having a social life, again!