One Year Post Follow Up

I realize that last post was a little discouraging regarding the band. However, I feel like it is important to document my journey. My story goes to show you that it's not all rainbows & flowers. This is not a smooth road for every patient.

I went to my first support group last night. There weren't any in Atlanta and since I've been in NJ, I've been out of town for each meeting. Well, I made it last night. The actual group was a little pathetic. There were three of us there: a 60 year old man one month out, a bypass patient 6 months out, me, a dietician, and the guy who runs the floro. I told my story and mentioned the pain I experience when eating. The obvious follow up question is why don't I get it checked out? Well, in order to get it checked out up here in NJ (remember, I'm self pay), I have to pay the surgeon $400 and go across the hall to the adjustment center and pay them $200 for the floro and the surgeon tell me what he thinks. I don't have $600 lying around just asking to be spent.

So, the floro guy came to me and offered to do a free floro that night just to get an idea of what was going on. How cool is that? Obviously it was very hush hush. I couldn't tell anyone we did it. So, after the meeting, we went down and he did it. It wasn't good. Now, I understand he's not a bariatric surgeon, but he does run the floro several times a day and knows what the images should look like. I was tight. Super tight. You know how you can see your underwire from your bra when you get a floro? Well, the barium stream going through my band was about 1/3 of the width of my underwire. He was also concerned about the placement and thought there might be a possibility of slippage. He pretty much said I needed to get an emergency unfill asap and that an unfill could not wait until I went home to ATL for Christmas.

It concerned me. I didn't lose sleep over it because I knew I couldn't do anything about it until this morning, but I was def. worried. I don't really have the money to get this done. So, this morning the floro guy called me and said he spoke to one of the surgeons and he'd see me at 12:30 if I wanted. The floro guy also said he would work with me on the money situation and we could set up a payment plan. How awesome is that?!?!

So, I went in and this is probably the top bariatric surgeon in NJ. We did the floro and he said I def. was over restricted but that the band had perfect placement. In terms of restriction, I just get so frustrated because I feel like I'm either over or under restricted. I have no idea what a sweet spot is!! He said I may never get to a sweet spot, but should strive for a spot I can live with. This made me feel better. Anyway, fluid came out and I'm feeling better.

I'm also going to start tracking my weight via spreadsheet. I think this might be a useful tool. I'm treating today as a new start. I should be at optimum restriction and will strive to stop eating my slider foods and eat those that will satisfy me and will continue to help me drop the weight...but at a healthy pace :)

Is this what progress is??

Sorry I haven't posted since going to ATL, but I really hate blogging from work and lately, that's all I've been doing!

I went to my surgeon back home to get a fill...my second since having almost everything removed. A new NP was in and once I told her the whole history of my band, she decided to see how much was actually in there. If every fill / unfill was done correctly in the past, she would have pulled out 4.9cc. She pulled out around 6! I ended up leaving the office with 6.25...I think.

I'm curious how I ended up with an extra cc! I think it was in there prior to my big unfill and that's one of the reasons I was so tight back in May / June and had to suck on ice chips just to stay hydrated!

Anyway, I'm liking this fill. I'm eating less and eating less often. Here's an example of my lunch yesterday:

Before I started eating (2 grapes are missing, I ate those before taking the picture):


And here is the after picture taken after I was full:


I ended up eating the raspberries about 3 hours later as a snack and drank 1/4 of a protein drink on my 2 hour drive home.

Exercise is still an issue. I did walk / run over 3 miles Monday night. It took me 45 minutes. I think that's pretty good for never running! I plan to do it again tonight. I motivate myself to do it because my poor dog is crated for 11 hours a day so I know she needs to get out and run or speed-walk in her case. I don't run fast enough to keep up with her so she trots while I try and run :)

I'm going to update my ticker this afternoon and show how much I've gained. It's not pretty. When I weighed in at my surgeon's I was up 31lb from end of June. Luckily, I've dropped about 4 of those in a week and a half.

Keep moving forward!

Let's Be Honest...

Got on the scale today, I'm now up 16lb from 4.5 weeks ago. Wow. Shame on me, right? I was hoping I'd never have to feel my pants be too tight or be unhappy in clothes that I have, but here I am. Back in this position.

The bad thing is I'm going on a cruise before I go back to my surgeon. So, it's pretty safe to say I'll prob. be up 20 freaking pounds by the time they add fluid back. UGH. UGH. UGH.

In positive news, I had a great weekend! On Friday one of the PMOs told me to work from home Monday and Tuesday. So, today is my first day in the office this week! 3 day week this week, 2 day week next week (then cruise!), then 3 day week when I get back. Not too shabby, right?

Thursday night I went out and had a good time. Was definitely hungover on Friday. Sunday I went to the Yankees game (barf. Go Braves!) and had a liiiiiittle too much to drink. There was a 2 hour rain delay so we went to a bar around the corner from the stadium. We met some boys, had some drinks, and generally enjoyed ourselves. Thank goodness I didn't have to come in to work on Monday.

My only complaint is some frustration I'm having with a friend. She's the one I generally go drink with. She's pretty. Typical beautiful blonde. However, I'm starting to get the "frenemy" vibe from her. Say some guy is giving me attention...she does everything in her power to have the attention switched from me to her. So frustrating. And then, she makes excuses for me because I'm from Georgia. Say someone says something not true that I believe (I'm slightly gullible, but mostly I pretend to be as a flirtation) and she's like, "Oh! Don't worry about her. She's from Georgia...she doesn't get it." And she says this to everyone. I may be Southern, honey, but I'm not an idiot. And at least I'm polite. You might want to try it. It will get you a lot further in life.

OK. I'm going to end this. I can't get my thoughts to come out right.

Hating Life...

Ugh. I do not want to be back. Do you have any idea how amazing it was to not think about work for 18 days?!? Or to be out of NJ for 16 days?!? It was bliss...

Vacation was super. It was fabulous. It was just what I needed. I've got a nice little tan going, too!

After I had the 2cc taken out 8 days ago, I fell off the wagon and have gained a few lbs. I was so excited to be able to eat and boy can I!! I only have the slightest bit of restriction now. I'm not eating as much as I was pre-op, but I'm eating more than I have since post-op. So, back on the wagon I go.

I'm going to give myself a personal challenge: 7 hours of exercise per week until I go on my cruise (30 days!). It's going to be tough, but I need something to keep me accountable.

After the cruise (the day we dock), I'm going back to my surgeon in ATL and we are going to discuss adding some of the 2cc back in. I'm fully prepared to get 1cc max put in. I don't think they will be as aggressive with fills from here on out, which I'm completely okay with.

Prior to my fiascos of the last few months, I was aiming for speed when it came to weight loss. Now, I want it to be as painless as possible...I'm speaking both figuratively and literally.

Today, I have eaten (so far):

-Reduced Sugar Oatmeal packet
-Cup of Mandarin Oranges
-Ham & Swiss on low carb tortilla
-Baby Carrots & 1/4 c hummus
-Mini York Patty

Vacay Update!

I'm still mid-vacation...lucky me!

We were at the beach house last week and it was beautiful! No tar, no oil, no smell...it was fabulous! I'll share pics when I get back to NJ. I even went to a water park!

We came back to ATL yesterday and I went to my original surgeon's office. I spoke to the Nurse Practitioner and we talked about the problems I've had. She agreed that some fluid had to come out. So, she took out 2cc and that now leaves me at 3.9cc. Sooo, I'm pretty loose, but I think this is what my body needs to heal, especially from the reflux.

I'm at a new low, 192.8 (I left the ticker at 193 b/c I round up) so I finally passed that 70lb mark! 40lb more to go to my ULTIMATE goal. :)

I'll post more when I get back to NJ!

Decisions About the Future of My Band

I had my follow up with the NP at my new doctor's office. We got through all the formalities and she asked "How are you doing?" My answer? "Not so great." I went through the laundry list of issues from last post plus some (having difficulty drinking water, GERD, barely eating mushy food, constantly feeling my band, losing hair etc.) and I'm only at 5.9cc after having up to 6.2cc. I asked her "is it supposed to be this hard? should i be suffering with my band so much?" She said no, absolutely not.

I'll skip giving you the play by play of our conversation, but basically I told her what I was planning and she agreed. I'm leaving to go to our beach house in Panama City Beach on Friday (helloooo 19 hour drive) and after spending a week there, I'm staying in Atlanta for a week. The Monday of the week I'll be home I have an appt. scheduled at my original doctor's office. I'm getting at least 1cc taken out...maybe even 2cc. I just need my band / stomach / esophagus to get better. I'll be back in August and will possibly get some of the fluid added back, but prob. not all.

I'm preparing for a more difficult weight loss. I know it will be harder with a looser band, but I can't take eating like this anymore. I want vegetables, I want rotisserie chicken, I want lean ground hamburger. And, actually, the weight loss might be easier with a looser band. I'll have more energy, feel like working out, and feel like eating healthier / better quality foods than the slider foods I've been eating. I'm tired of being dehydrated. I'm tired of constantly thinking if a certain food will go down. I'm tired of being constantly worried of throwing up.

Ready to get this healing process show on the road.

Adjustment update...and letting the cat out of the bag!

One of the direct results of being overfilled for the last week was me going home early on Friday. Since I have moved up to NJ I've missed quite a few days of work due to "having a stomach virus."

I decided yesterday that I would tell my two supervisors what has truly been wrong with me. These are 2 guys. One is a mid 60's retired Colonel from the Army. The other is a guy about 10 years older than me. They both took the news really well and were happy I told them what the root of my "sickness" was because, apparently, they were beginning to get concerned for my health. So, not so bad telling them! However, I'm still not willing to tell people outside of my "circle of trust" about my band.

This morning I had the adjustment to remove fluid. Luckily, it only cost the flat $200 instead of $550. The surgeon didn't do it under floroscopy, he just did it in one of the patient rooms. Why can't they always do this???? I don't understand practices that refuse to do non-floroscopy fills!

Anyway, he took out .3 cc so now I'm at 5.9 cc. He almost only took out .2 cc, but I asked him to take out another .1 just to be safe.

I'm so happy to be drinking fluids and re-hydrating myself. This morning I weighed in at 197...that's 10lb down from exactly one week ago. I realize that some of that is from being dehydrated. So, I'm anxious to see what the scale does within the next few days.

I spoke too soon.

Getting an unfill tomorrow. SO FRUSTRATING!!!! But it has to be done.

I had the fill last Tuesday and he put in the .2 cc that he removed 2 months before (that puts me at 6.2 cc in a 10 cc band). The thing is, I think he should have only put in .1 cc because when he did it under floroscopy, only a little trickle of barium was going through. It looked too tight on the film, but he's the doctor / surgeon and I would hope he'd know what to look for. Obviously not.

I felt okay Tuesday - Thursday (was tight, but thought it was like how I am with every other adjustment...sensitive), but on Friday I was in Hell. I started having reflux in the night. I would sleep for 15 min then would wake up hacking and coughing with a mouth full of acid. Horrible. I can barely get any liquids down. The only way I get any liquid in is by sucking on ice chips. Hello, it's been SIX DAYS since my adjustment!!! I'm miserable, pure miserable.

So now I have to pay an additional $400 to fix this doctor's mistake. I am SO not made of money and this cannot become a habit.

I hate my employer for not electing bariatric coverage, I hate being self pay, I hate not being in ATL where MY DOCTOR is and where my adjustments are free.

I'm so frustrated. Really trying not to flip out on someone.

eeeeexcellent.

I am now 12lb away from ONEDERLAND and am 10lb away from no longer being obese! Also, 12lb away from my May 31st goal!

I got an unfill last Friday and they took out what was put in back in ATL (.2cc). The effing thing cost me $650 which is ridiculous, but at least I can eat now and I'm still losing weight.

Today is my birthday, as well, so this is all good news and a wonderful present to myself! I haven't weighed this for 2.5 - 3 years, I think.

Yay!

Not doing well...Violent Vomiting & ER Visit

I arrived in NJ for good yesterday. It took me two days to drive it, but I'm up here! The movers won't get here until Wednesday; at least that's the plan right now. So, for now, Manolo & I are shacked up in a Residence Inn.

This morning, I decided to get some eggs from the buffet and take them in a container to work and eat them when I got hungry. So, around 9 I ate some...maybe 2 or 3 bites?...and I was immediately stuck. This was no normal stuck...I was PBing over and over. It got to the point where I couldn't even swallow my saliva.

Now, you might be saying to yourself, "Cody, why didn't you just go to your surgeon and get fluid taken out??" Well, my friends, my surgeon is in ATL and I'm now in NJ. A few weeks ago, I found a Lap-Band Office up here who would do my fills and unfills and I called them today when this issue was happening. They said the NP couldn't see me until I had seen a surgeon and Mondays are surgery days for surgeons. GRRRR! This was not a good situation. I was running to the bathroom every 5 min (I'm sure everyone at my client now thinks I'm pregnant, thank you). So, I made the executive decision to go to the ER.

The ER sucks here. I've never seen a room full of so many sickly people. I got to the point where they took my bp and temp and all that and had to go out in the waiting room before being admitted. Well, before I could even get admitted, I started puking SO HARD and so repetitively that food that was in my stomach (had already passed through the band) was coming up along with the burning, nasty bile. However, after that, I felt like a million bucks compared to before! So, I got out of the ER and came back to the hotel.

I was finally able to speak to the NP at the new surgeon's office and the earliest they can get me in is on Friday. I am fo' sho' getting fluid taken out. Until then, pure liquids.

I'm affraid I may have slipped my band, though. Can one violent episode like this flip it? I sure hope not. I've never had a fill done under floro, but I'm actually hoping they do the unfill under floro on Friday just to calm my fears!

Anyone else ever puked over and over so violently??? I'm slightly scared...